LIFE IN MALAYSIA: THE EXODUS DURING FESTIVE SEASONS

On 22nd March 2013, NST RED published an article written by me entitled, Urban Retreat on "fifth heaven". However, this is my blog version with extra pictures and personal sharing. My blog version will always be different from the ones that appear in NST.  

During the recent Chinese New Year break, I decided to "escape" to Bangkok. Yes, it's Bangkok(BKK) yet again! However, little did I know that I was not the only one with that plan. In fact, more than half of Hong Kong(HK) people were thinking the very same thing as well. When I landed in BKK, I was greeted by a sea of HK people. I almost mistook BKK's Suvarnabhumi International Airport for the HK's Chek Lap Kok. It seemed that everyone gets away during CNY these days, not just me. 

Bangkok's Night View From My Room

In the past, Chinese New Year(CNY) was celebrated with real family reunions. Meaning - every family member will definitely make that long journey back to their respective hometowns or ancestral homes for CNY. 

In Malaysia, going home for any festive season is still very much a big event. Be it Chinese New Year (celebrated by the Chinese) or Hari Raya (celebrated by the Malays) or Deepavali (celebrated by the Indians). We have a Malaysian saying for going home during the festive seasons, we call it "Balik Kampung". Literal translation: "Going back to the village/hometown." It is not surprising to find that most of the roads and highways in Malaysia will be clogged with all sorts of vehicles on the eve of a festive event/date. The city of Kuala Lumpur tend to look rather "abandoned" during these times of the year.  Hence, it is likened to an exodus. 

Traditionally, all Chinese households will hold a grand dinner in their homes on the eve of CNY to mark the reunion of all family members. Dining together on the night before CNY was a big deal. However, these days convenience and lifestyle preferences may take precedence over tradition. Some family members may hold their reunion dinners much earlier than the actual date of Chinese New Year Eve. And some may hold their reunion dinners in restaurants rather than in their homes. In the case of my family, we usually hold our reunion dinners two weeks in advance, because it is a gathering of all uncles, aunties, cousins and etc. That is, a reunion of the entire clan. Hence, you can appreciate the magnitude of the matter. 

However, these days, with the long break over CNY, many people take the opportunity to travel and leave the country. This is also the case for my family and entire clan. Everyone is more keen to go on their own holidays, and not deal with all the hassle of holding an "Open House". An "Open House" is what many households traditionally do on the actual day of Chinese New Year. They literally "open" their houses to welcome all their families and friends for visits during CNY. Our families used to hold "Open Houses" in the past. However, it was a lot of work because we always had a lot of guests streaming in throughout the day. We would have to organize the caterers, set up the marquee, tables and chairs, entertain the guests, entertain the kids, and etc. So, in order to save everyone the hassle(namely ourselves), we chose to leave the country and have ourselves a mini holiday. This has become our very own CNY tradition since 2001. Every CNY we will go somewhere and chill as a family. Last year, it was Bali. This 2013 CNY trip, we decided to stay at the newly renovated rooms of the Grand Hyatt Erawan in Bangkok. 

The Grand Hyatt Erawan Hotel sits in an enviable location, right in the middle of two BTS stations (Bangkok’s monorail system) and is within a short walk to shopping centres like New Central World and Siam Paragon - all of which are connected via a covered sky bridge. 

The Famed "Four-Faced" Buddha

Grand Hyatt Erawan is also known as the home of the famous “Four-Faced Buddha”. This particular Buddha statue, whose small temple is located right next to the hotel, is legendary for making wishes come true. Needless to say, on the first day of CNY (10 February 2013), hoards of people gravitated to the renowned temple of the “Four-Faced Buddha”. They come from far and wide. It is not surprising to find even Hong Kong celebrities gathering at the said place of worship, paying their respects and making prayers (or wishes). It is said that this particular Buddha has been consistent in “granting” people their heartfelt wishes. It is also said that when one’s wishes came true, one would have to return to the same shrine and make an offering to thank the Buddha. Offerings can be made through flowers, incense or a traditional Thai dance by the ladies at the temple. It is said that the offering of music and dance delights this particular Buddha very much. So, I shall keep you all posted if my wishes did come true before the year ends.

The architecture of Grand Hyatt Erawan echoes the golden days of Thailand. The white pillars stand imposingly against the backdrop of traditional Thai teak wood and silken touches. The hotel underwent a complete “remodelling programme” of its guestrooms that began in March 2012, with the first phase concluded in November 2012. The first 197 new guestrooms and suites have recently opened their doors to welcome guests from around the world. And these were the very rooms I wanted to check out.  These rooms are so new that a faint “scent” of its redecoration still lingered in the air - even the elevators had that similar “just refurbished” aroma. 

The New Grand Room

The newly renovated rooms and suites have been designed by the renowned American Interior Designer, Tony Chi of Tony Chi & Associates. Chi is known for his attention to detail and has a talent for orchestrating rich compositions of lacquer, aqueous glass mosaics and textured wood veneer. These influences are visible in the new guestrooms of the Grand Hyatt Erawan. For Chi believes in what he calls "invisible design", the notion that much like good service, a hospitality space should elicit a positive response without necessarily making you aware of why.

Hence, the new guestrooms complement the hotel’s positioning as a warm and welcoming Thai residence, with an inviting ambience that is unmistakably Thai coupled with intense splashes of colours and textures. The guestroom design is contemporary, but succeeds in incorporating classical touches with a beautiful focus on details such as quaint Thai jars and ceramics. 

The intent of the re-modelling work is to extend the cosy residential aesthetic developed for the spa cottages at “i.sawan” to all the guestroom floors. The rooms are at once luxurious and practical. Upon entering my room, I found the new look most welcoming. All the furniture, fixtures and fittings are new. They are well co-ordinated with the colours of vermillion and orange hues. The designs are classic contemporary with a focus on details such as quaint Thai jars and ceramics.

The bathrooms are also updated with new mosaic tiles and designs. I especially adore the red lacquer boxes which organize the bathroom amenities and quaint soap dish.

There is an intimate and diverse seating area next to a comfortable bed that includes an upholstered daybed-style settee. In that space, you will also find a pull-up armchair and an upholstered leather bench for multi-use such as a private living area, or for work, dining or socialising. This is just the new Grand Room category that I stayed in. Unfortunately, I did not have a chance to sneak a peek at the higher category rooms. They were all fully occupied by guests from Hong Kong. 

Decorative Soap Dish

The Newly Renovated Bathroom

So, instead I ventured onto the fifth floor of the hotel, where the pool, garden and spa are located. You will discover another wonderful surprise here – the i.sawan Residential Spa & Club. Also designed by Mr Tony Chi, it is likened to the mythical definition of the “fifth level of heaven”. 

The i.sawan Residential Spa & Club offers guests an extraordinary urban garden retreat as well as an exquisite array of services, including pampering, fitness, cuisine, accommodation and relaxation. Yes, they are all housed on the fifth floor of Grand Hyatt Erawan Bangkok.

The Treatment Room 

It covers over 7,000 sq m (75,350 sq ft) high above the sights and sounds of the bustling city. And are you ready for this – there are six very unique spa cottages that become the hallmark of i.sawan Residential Spa & Club. And yes again, they are situated in the hotel garden on the fifth floor.

The Spa Cottages

The spa cottages are specifically designed to be your own private retreat in the heart of Bangkok. i.sawan Residential Spa & Club takes you to a higher “divine” level of comfort, with each spa cottage featuring a welcoming living room with a sizeable dining area, an inviting bedroom overlooking a private outdoor garden, a spacious bathroom that is equipped with a steam room, a treatment room and a private outdoor patio. Doesn’t it sound all so heavenly? This is just the cottage.

What you will receive daily when you stay in one of the spa cottages are daily spa breakfast and evening cocktails served in the cottage; a daily 60-minute in-cottage massage of your choice; and an Aromatherapy Steam and Milk Bath all arranged by the spa concierge team to ensure that you enjoy the most impeccable indulgent experiences of all.

The Bedroom of the Spa Cottage

What’s more - a customised music selection is made available in the spa cottage so that you can use music to make your day or night even more delightful. Naturally, during your spa retreat, you can always stay connected to the rest of the world - thanks to the complimentary broadband Internet access in the cottage.

Now you can understand why I have been missing in action for the past few weeks. 

I have been busy enjoying my own urban sanctuary in Bangkok, at the fifth level of heaven that is i.sawan Residential Spa & Club. Yes, I had huge separation issues when my stay came to an end - H.U.G.E. 

My Farewell Tea

Well, such is life. 

Nothing lasts forever, especially when it is so fabulously wonderful. 

As Tibetan Spiritual Guru, H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche once said, “Enjoy everything, knowing it’s not permanent”.

Yes, I am doing my best to extend the part about “Enjoy everything", because I know ONLY TOO WELL that "it’s not permanent”. However, I can try and make them last just a wee bit longer by continuing with all my favourite activities - that is enjoy good eats while I can, stay positive as much as possible, travel with my family at every opportunity, and write as much as my passions/inspirations would take me. 

Above all, I am learning to cherish every living moment with my loved ones because of all the transient moments in my life, these will be the very ones I'll miss the most. 

Travelling with Extended Families: The Joys and Pains

As Anthony Boudain said ~ "Travel isn't always pretty. It isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that's okay. The journey changes you - it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you....Hopefully, you leave something good behind." 

Believe it or not, travelling with big families or extended families will definitely AMPLIFY all of the above.

A Large Chinese Family

Yes, it isn't always pretty. It can even be maddening. Especially when you travel with extended families. Yes, there are pros and cons - it all depends on how close everyone is and how well they can get along with one another. Otherwise, all hell break loose will become a daily routine. And if you are not sure, please do not ever, I repeat, do not ever go on a cruise with extended families or families per say, unless all of you can be, at the very least, civil to each other.

An Extended Family Vacation with Matching Shirts

And yes, it isn't always comfortable. Again, when you are not close with one another or know each other well enough - you can't relax or chill and just be yourself. You have to be on your guard and watch your words/actions. You might even have to help out baby-sitting the little ones, if there are little people in your extended group. Hence, the real meaning of a holiday for you begins to diminish.

Oh, you bet it will hurt and even break your heart in more ways than one. Sometimes you might become so frustrated that you cannot do what you like, visit the places you want and just enjoy being at the holiday destination as you imagine to because you have to accommodate and adjust to what the majority or the group wants. During heated moments, careless wounding words or gestures could be exchanged and everyone's moods become affected as well. There would be an uncomfortable prickly air of silence surrounding the group no matter how scenic the holiday spot could be. Then you start swearing under your breath that you will never, ever, travel with them ever again! And it will probably last about a few months, and you'll soon forget until the next wonderful holiday travel proposal pops up again.

Yes, the journey changes you and it will, whether you like it or not. The only time you won't feel the slightest change is when you have isolated yourself in the hotel room or villa and have refused to venture out of the hotel. Then, of course, the likelihood of anything touching you would be closer to none. I know of some people who have travelled the world and yet still remain "unchanged" and "untouched". Because wherever they go, they bring along their own little bubble or cubicle. And they live inside that bubble or cubicle, expecting to see the sights and hear the sounds but not actually experiencing it for themselves. And God forbid that they should puncture that bubble or cubicle. They never realise that they are the real foreigners in a foreign land and not the locals. They still expect to have their Starbucks, McDs and other foreign familiarities but just set in a different location. Sad to say, these travellers are the ones who will learn nothing new and experience nothing truly authentic to that country's culture. One of the best lines to describe this is from the hilarious movie, "Bride and Prejudice" starring Aishwarya Rai. No, it is not "Pride and Prejudice" but "Bride and Prejudice".

She said in the movie, "You want people to come to India without having to deal with Indians." You can watch the clip from the movie here.

The Movie: "Bride & Prejudice"

When all is said and done, it does leave marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart and on your body. And I do not mean the insect bites, or food poisoning and the hallucinations that may accompany the earlier mentioned two. I often find that the kind of marks we would come to value most at the end of every travel are the ones that made a lasting impression in our hearts, minds and thereby, our consciousness. Personally, I always leave a foreign land with the "heaviest marks" on my stomach. Yes, I often eat too much of everything during my travels. It is just so hard to resist when every delectable food item is calling out my name - EAT ME, or YOU CANNOT GO HOME WITHOUT SAMPLING A TASTE OF ME! Then, I find myself weighing ten pounds heavier than when I first landed in that city. Thank goodness, the airlines do not charge each passengers' weight, just their baggages.

Oh yes, we definitely end up taking something with us - it's called SOUVENIRS and way too much SHOPPING that adds to the over-weight situation with our luggages...or in my case, way too much food stuff. Above all, we take away the MEMORIES - both beautiful and the not-so-beautiful. And in the case of my brother-in-laws - a huge collection of photos. Our family travel vacations are always immortalisted in print like "Tiffany" catalogues. Yes, their photography skills are quite special. Lucky for people like me who have zero gift of "the eye". Sometimes, travelling with extended families feels like a "corporate retreat" designed to reinforce "teamwork" and relationships. After all, we need to learn how to get along and accommodate to one another within that period of time. Everyone has to learn to share, give and take. Most of all, tolerate.

Finally, we do leave something good behind - sometimes, it is our favourite cashmere sweater, a misplaced bag or whatever we have forgotten to retrieve from the hotel room safes before we left. It happens. Fortunately, these are things we can rectify with the hotel staff's kind assistance. There was once when my parents found STACKS of CASH in their hotel room's safe. It was left by the previous guest. Always the careful and rational one, my dad called the hotel front desk to inform them of the "bountiful" discovery. My dad was wary that the cash belonged to some "unsavoury mafia-ish character" and did not want to risk getting involved with it. Yes, we watch way too many action and crime movies in our family.

Hence, in the end, no matter what trauma or drama may ensue, we always look forward to travelling together. Collectively, we have made so many journeys together and gone through all sorts of experiences. Ours is a family which do not shy away from seeking out the exotic and authentic routes. It is just not about the scenic views. It is the desire to see how the locals live, eat what they like best and walk the roads that they do in their everyday lives. Our trips are always too short but we try to insert as much as we can into our itineraries.

In many travels, we have argued, cried, laughed, accused and even danced together. It is not dissimilar to our daily lives as a big extended family. The main organiser, i.e. The C.E.O - Chief Entertainment Officer aka me - have experienced my fair share of complaints from my fellow travel companions. Sometimes, I feel self-piteous and wallow in the sadness that no one appreciated all the work I have done. However, they do not last very long. The truth is, travelling with families means travelling with our loved ones. Whenever trouble sprouts and there have been cases of it, I for one, am truly grateful that I am not alone in a foreign country. I have help and support. To this day, one of my best travel memories from my childhood was our Scotland and USA trip. That deserves a posting of its own.

So, it is very much like life and the world we live in. Everyone needs to learn how to share the burden and help out. Every single person is advised to put aside her or his own selfish needs and learn to help, give, support and accommodate one another. The key is adapting to each other's needs and doing our best to get along. It never hurts to be a little more considerate of one another. Again, I'd like to stress that the willingness to participate, share and interact are crucial in all the journeys we make in life. Then towards the end of every journey we make in life, we would always leave a place with a deeper understanding of each other, and our relationships become richer.

I am off to Europe with my big extended family :)

See you all on the "road".

Happy Travelling!

What does it mean to be a woman today?

I have a confession to make...

My writing has taken a back seat these past few weeks. I have had to attend to more personal and family matters. It is amazing how fast time speeds by when taking care of others. I must admit, I do get frustrated at times when my time is being spent on others and not on myself...I may sound selfish here, but I am being honest. I am not built for taking care of others 24/7. I like to be able to do my own things in between taking care of others. I like to be able to retreat to my writing and literary world. They are my sanctuary as well as source of life. Hence, this is why I admire people who can give up their lives and just do stuff for others 24/7. They are a different breed, and definitely a breed above the rest. Salute to them!

I am a single mother. That said, I do not identify myself as a typical single mother. Although by my "legal status" in life, I belong to this category. However, I am luckier than most as I have a strong and supportive family network. Plus, I am not struggling to survive as many single mothers are. This is not to suggest that I am living off any fat alimony pay off. I live modestly and there is no alimony at all. Hence, the identity and role of women are very dear to my heart for many personal reasons.

As it is when my daughter is sick or has had an major accident (according to her level), my life would be affected in drastic measures. Everything I usually do, would pause. Even then, I don't believe that I am doing a good job in taking care of her (please read my intro paragraph). What I do and try to do, is just deal with the crazy motions of the day as best I can. And if you have met my daughter, you know that she deserves a whole new category. She is something else :)

Let's just say, without her in my life, I would probably end up being a slacker all my life or a beach bum. So, although I am eternally grateful for her, I do question if I am doing a good job. She pushes me to boundaries which I did not even know I had and gives me courage to do more than I could imagine. Especially in nursing bad bloody wounds and catching icky bugs.

As I have said, writing to me is like chocolate and ice cream to a kid. These days, I am beginning to wonder if I have the passion to write but no real talent for it. Hey, the truth hurts. So, I may have to own up at some point and just face it.

In any case, when I can't afford the time to write. I read and I try to read as much as I can. Or watch movies. Sometimes, if I am really lucky, I might get some ideas from watching movies and reading.

Yes, just please bear with me - I am getting to the point of my post that is relevant to the title of this post :)

(And btw, I did not slack in taking care of my daughter in all this time.)

As I was reading mostly articles on the net, I was shocked by how some articles get published at all. Well, if it is any consolation I still get shocked at why any of mine would be published too.

But nothing shocked me more than the comments that come after these articles. Of course, these comments are made by readers or visitors to the sites/articles. Some are downright rude and just mean. Others are preaching about how we have abandoned God and how we are made to pay for not believing in God. It shocks me that so much negativity reside in so many people.

Mind you, these articles are from different sites and of different subject matter. Yes, it is still possible that it might be the same group of people hiding behind different personas. In this cyber age, all things are possible.

Yes, I am reaching my point of this post -

There are so many sites and articles dedicated to WOMEN and so little to MEN. Why is that?

Then there are so many women blaming all the men for their problems in the world and most of all, the inequality that thrives in various places.

Male bashing is so intense and passionate that it demands a new scientific study of its own. Seriously.

While I do agree that there are some very unsavoury and bad men around, the same can be said about women too.

In fact, I have witnessed more women bashing other women than I care to recall. Just take a look at high school "popularity contest" and then tell me that it does not flow over into their adulthoods.

I have seen how some girls grow up into just meaner women as they age. Their negativity and bitterness just deepen like wine which turned into the worst vinegar. Sad to say.

And it boogles my mind, why it still persists to this day - especially when we keep saying that our education has improved, knowledge and information are more accessible to everyone...yet we do see and sometimes personally have experienced the ire of the women who have turned into the most cruel females as we advance into each century.

For example, my daughter has built her own self-defense mechanism as she has had to do while at school. This year, the gloves come off because she finally joins the "TEENS" category. She knows things have changed and she can feel it. Like I how I felt. I am just surprised that it is still happening at this day and age.

Question 1: All men and women came from women as in their mothers. What have their mothers have been or not have been teaching these men and women? 

I am just wondering. Especially when the said problems seem to repeat themselves over time. By this, I do mean centuries and not just years. So, do the problems really stem from the boys and then to men? Or are we (girls and women) just as guilty?

Question 2: Are women really that vulnerable and helpless that they need sites, articles and posts to remind them or educate them how to be a better woman?

And if there are so much "help out there" already in existence, why women are not evolving to becoming better women by now?

I do not discredit the fact that women have come a long way. But I also wonder what are the benefits and definitions of women's advancement in today's context?

Does it equate to a woman being able to have sex with whomever and whenever she pleases?

Does it mean that she can afford to buy however many shoes and handbags as she wants?

Does it empower her to "steal" other people's boyfriends, fiances and husbands?

Does it give her the right to betray other women and be jealous/envious that she needs to gossip about other women?

Does it permit her to wear whatever she wants but does not take the responsibility for that attire when she gets into trouble for it?

Does it translate to "no men objectifying women" but women is allowed to pursue extreme measures to "beautify" themselves in whatever means or form? Who is objectifying who, at the end of the day?

Or, is it reflected in her self-awareness and higher education or intellect that she can easily acquire the job that she deserves or fulfill her dreams/goals?

So, it is acceptable for women to bash women but not men to bash women? Shouldn't the right thing be NO BASHING ALLOWED - regardless of gender?

All I know is that all negativity begets more negativity and it is a bottomless pits that covers all manners of sins.

I do not believe any human being needs to undergo any form of negativity - unless they have committed a heinous crime against humanity itself. (And even then, there is a right way to pursue justice.) It is genderless and race-less. It is about mutual respect, kindness and common courtesy.

Or perhaps, these attributes are becoming extinct?

Honestly, life is already as challenging as it is - no one needs another unkind word or unpleasant gesture to make it worse for anyone else.

As we celebrate another year of International Women's Day - I beg to ask,

What does it really mean to be a woman today?

You tell me.

No Love Allowed - The Assassination of the Heart

Ms. Jada Pinkett Smith shares some beautiful thought-provoking words, inspired from Rihanna's song: "No Love Allowed".

It is interesting that Ms. J likens the end of a relationship to the murder of the heart. 

I suppose, in some ways, our hearts do die a sort of death when the ones we have loved and cherished choose to dispose of us.

However, I find that during the course of a relationship, the act of "murder" has been systematically carried out through a period of time before the "final blow" occurs.

A breakdown of a relationship or friendship does not happen in one sweeping act - even if it does, it is very rare.

Usually it is a series of breakdowns that occur over a long period of time that lead to an eventual demise of a relationship or friendship.

No one ever enters into a relationship with the thought of breaking it down or leaving. Hence, it takes a succession of "murders" to gnaw away at our hearts, love, hopes and cherished ideals before it finally kills us off. Emotionally, as well as mentally.

As Ms. Jada Pinkett Smith eloquently shares -

I have always loved these words in this song because I believe it is indicative of emotional murder that I see too often.

What is emotional murder? How we objectify people in relationships is emotional murder. How we USE people for a FUNCTION in relationships is emotional murder. How we can claim an individual to be the love of our lives but yet replace them within a day or two with a new life-love is…emotional murder. Can true love dispose of love in that way? My opinion is no. My opinion is that we can only dispose of people in that way when we have objectified them. I believe this is very closely related to the objectification of actual murders.

I don’t think we recognize how much, in how many ways, or all the justifications we give ourselves to USE people in the name of love. It’s one of the worst crimes. I don’t think we realize how easily we are willing to dispose of a person after the feelings are all used up.

But is it possible to use a person up… if we are actually in a relationship with the person themselves and relating to what we value within them as a human being, as a lover, a wife, a husband, a friend, a mother, afather and so on? Can we dispose of people when we relate to them beyond how they make us feel? With that in mind, if a relationship has changed or altered could it merit disposal? You tell me.

J

Lack of acknowledgment – murders the heart

Lack of gratitude and appreciation – murders the heart

Dishonesty – murders the heart

Domination – murders the heart

Passivity – murders the heart

If you like…continue the list.

In our daily lives, these types of murders probably occur in our heads a few times in a day.

If each of us were tried and sentenced according to the murderous acts that are carried out in our heads/hearts, we might have to be sent to prison several times a day.

Hate - Murders the heart

Expectations - Murders the heart

Apathy - Murders the heart

Anger - Murders the heart

Inertia - Murders the heart

What we do not realise is that as we mentally or emotionally "kill" someone in our head or hearts, we are also killing our own hearts in return. 

Negative thoughts always begat the death of positive thoughts.

Nothing kills humanity more than negativity.

As we dispense violence and hate onto people around us in our every-day lives, we think that we are disposing of "bad rubbish" from our lives. However, we may also run the risk of assassinating all that is good and positive in ourselves.

I know it is not easy to shield ourselves from someone else's emotional or mental attack on us. Sometimes, we are left paralysed with fear or crippled with emotional/mental wounds.

It is not easy to NOT be engulfed by all the negative emotions that someone may put us through or throw at us. It is not easy to shake off the lack of their love, care or kindness. Sometimes, an escape may not even be possible.

However, we do have a choice. WE ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.

We do not need to be pulled into someone else's vortex of negative emotions and thoughts. Their deadly emotional or mental storms need not eat us up IF we do not allow it.

We can refuse to be dragged into it. 

We can learn to disassociate ourselves from their negativity.

We need not be driven to commit any further negative acts or thoughts just because they are doing it. 

In time, we can even learn to drawn them into our world of peace.

A relationship may end, for whatever reason - but the people involved need not "die a horrible death" or be "murdered" in the emotional or mental sense. 

What we are choosing to dispose of is really the negativity that has been ruling the relationship. 

No one deserves to be imprisoned in a negative relationship or a relationship with a violently negative individual.

When we truly understand how we do not want to be used, disposed of or remotely experience any pain and suffering, we would truly exert more effort in not doing the same to those around us.

When we value love, respect and kindness - we would take the time to treat others with such. 

Then, in time, we each would become a source of peace as well as love.

Most people think of love as romantic love. However, I think that love is all encompassing and applies to all of humanity. When this love dies, the heart dies. 

To me, Love is the oxygen that fuels humanity.

Peace to all!

Knowledge Vs. Understanding

Knowing does not automatically equate to understanding.

At this day and age, where every type of information is readily available and accessible at the touch of a button, knowledge is literally out there for anyone who is willing to find and read.

Nothing is hardly a secret anymore.
At the rate we are going, "priviledged information" may become a relic or extinct.

However, knowing something does not mean that you understand it - in entirety with its depth, width and breadth. 

Data and information make up knowledge.

To decipher what those information and data means requires understanding.

Understanding comes with experience and insight. These are usually accomplished through lessons one had learnt personally, and when one had undergone a process or journey of experiences.

As they say, smooth seas do not make good sailors. The same could be applied to understanding. Without having gone through difficulties and challenges in life, one would not arrive at a deeper state of understanding - not just about oneself, but also about the people around us and our environment. 

This is also why they say that LIFE IS A JOURNEY because our learning and understanding never ends. They become refined, deepened and widened as we "travel" through the various paths of our lives.

After many experiences, higher levels of understandings arise and that would lead to us cultivating the wisdom in choosing the right course of action for ourselves.

Wisdom is understanding the difference between knowing what to do and how to do it right.

This week was an exposition on understanding for me, as played out by a certain Parent and Teachers Meeting that I had to attend.

While the Teachers are advocating for a "new" method of reporting on the students' performance at school, the parents are expressing how the "new" method of reporting do not give them sufficient information.

The hostile exchanges between parents and teachers are not unusual than any other hostility which we have witnessed many times over in our own every day lives.

As always, the parents spoke from fear that they cannot properly understand if their children are doing well in school because the new method of reporting are not the ones they can relate to. They are from the old school of thought whereby one's performance is measured in "percentages".

Then, there are the teachers who believe that these "percentages" are archaic and do not help the child to learn or grow at his or her own pace. 

Both sides are right in their views. Both views present valuable tools in helping a student learn.

Sitting in the room, it is interesting to hear different parent or teacher speak. Almost without meaning to, one can gain an insight to how each of their childhood was like and how they have been conditioned. At the end of the meeting, it became clear that we are all governed by our own "conditioning of past experiences" and our understanding stems from there. 

This is not to say it is wrong or right. This is to state that we can only see as much as we have learnt. If our past experiences did not include certain challenges in life, we may not know how to relate to those who had. We may not come to understand why they hold different perceptions from us. And there lies the breeding space for disagreements and outright confrontations. 

When we keep insisting that the other person see the way we see and feel the way we feel, we would not arrive at a common ground. We fail to understand that it is simply not possible for every person to accept our views, because not everyone goes through the same processes and "life journeys" as we did in order to arrive at their own conclusions about what is acceptable and not acceptable.

When we choose to remain attached to our own ideas, perceptions and feelings, we allow a greater divide to take place. 

Some parents would not agree with other parents, while finding the teachers most un-accommodating as well. 

One thing is for certain, every parent spoke out of genuine concern for their child. Which parent would want their child to fail? Of course, all parents would like to know that their child is doing well so that their child can progress and be accepted in "good/reputable" schools. 

However, the definition of "doing well" carries different meanings and manners of assessment for the parents and teachers.

And that is where the real problem brews...the lack of understanding in one another's definition. 

Understanding, unfortunately, would also differ from person to person based on their own life experiences and past conditioning. The lenses in our mind are definitely coloured and bias according to how we have lived, have been brought up and etc. Therefore, it does not necessarily mean that something is not true just because we don't understand it or see it.

When one is willing to go outside of one's perspective in order to see where the other person is coming from, then a new level of understanding can be created and achieved. 

Without having a desire or intention to understand more, we are all doomed to live within the confines of our own little corner of the world in our mind and see only what we want to see. Imagine how very narrow our world would be if we did not step outside of our own little boxes.

Once we expand our minds with greater understanding, it cannot shrink into its previous shape or size. That is the beauty of our minds. Once it expands, it stays expanded. Wish we could do that for every other part of our bodies too ;)

As Albert Einstein famously said, "Any fool can know. The point is to understand."

May we all rise to a deeper, higher and richer understanding, always!