Music Of Choice: Elgar's Cello Concerto in E Minor for Classical, Jay Z and Alicia Keys's Empire State of Mind, and I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas for Hip Hop/Rap.
Elgar's Cello Concerto is hauntingly beautiful - from the very first strike of the bow to the strings, I feel my soul unravelling.
I have always enjoy BLASTING classical music to the point that it DROWNS every single sound into oblivion. And all that I hear is the crisp, clean waves of the instruments wailing through the talented touch of the player. And then I give myself over to a fantastical swoon....
There are many versions and cellists who are featured in different albums, but my fave for this particular piece is Jacqueline Du Pre. She is, however, another famous tormented soul, yet divinely gifted in bringing music to the listener's heart. She lives in the same district of highly gifted women but emotionally precarious such as Camille Claudel, Anne Sexton, Georgina O'Keefe and Frida Kahlo. Each brilliant in their craft, but a complete wreck in their personal lives. Amazingly though, their masterpieces have touched so many lives and have stood against the test of time.
It always baffles me to this day - do all exquisitely gifted women have to lead such tragic lives? WHY?
Do they have to suffer so much for their art or is it their art that deepens their misery even more?
One thing for sure, these women have always yearned to be loved and adored by their men. And their choice of men ... well, let's just say that the men they chose have been both the cause of their pain as well as the core of their art.
What can I say, they could not live with their men, nor could they live without them. I guess, MISERY does love company.
Whenever I get a little carried away by the cello's melancholy tunes, I change the melody to something that brings me back to the reality of today's music. Like Hip hop and rap. Then I'd be tapping away - it starts with a twitch on my ankles and I begin to wiggle my feet. Before I know it, I am getting up from the chair or sofa, and moving my butt, boogey-ing to the BEAT, BEAT, BEAT, BEAT, BEAT....
See, I am not just some Taliban Tibetan Buddhist nun-wannabe.
I am a very hip and funky Tibetan Buddhist who is fanatical about becoming a better human being.
I do have my light hearted moments and my serious moments. And I definitely have my very, very BAD moments that continue to DAYS. Thankfully, they do not last very long these days, and are getting shorter and shorter.
Yea, I do so wish that I had thought about Buddha all day and night, and every moment in between. Then may be I'd be enlightened already by now. But sad to say, I am not.
Not yet, at least.
I am still working on that bit.
This week, yet another guy asked me if this is why I am single - because I've suddenly found the path and am going all holy-goosey about life with Buddha, Dharma & Guru.
Gosh, I didn't even know what that whole sentence meant.
Was that his way of asking if I am single, really single and not seeing anyone on a regualr basis apart from the Buddha statues?
Or was that his way of asking if I am single and not available because he thinks that I have pledged to become a nun?
Is it just because I talk a great deal about spirituality and use BIG, HEAVY words like Dharma, Buddha and Guru?
And here I thought men were more intimidated by women who are powerful, successful and ambitious and who earns more than they do.
Another person commented that I am like a 'desert island', because I have seemingly closed myself off to romance and love.
Ok, let me just spell this out for you and not waste your time ya.
Just because I am not dating you does not mean I am closed off to every guy on the planet.
Actually, it is immaterial - me being single, available or otherwise.
Dating me is not going to make you feel any better, and MOST definitely, you are not going to get the chance to be sleeping with me either - because these days, I hardly even stay in bed long enough for a fore-play to get properly warmed up.
Hell, my bed does not even recognise me anymore!
I do not even have time to sit down with the old newspapers and do my number two with ease and luxury.
Yea, NO SHIT.
In any case, let's be very clear about one thing - I cannot plug in all the missing pieces in your life. I cannot heal you in any way that you do not want to be healed.
No, I do not have all the answers.
And just because I am a Dharma Student does not mean that I am MARY SUNSHINE 24/7.
The key operative word here is STUDENT. I am still very much a work-in-progress and a cause of my Guru's headaches at times.
I am not the one who can compensate for all that is lacking in your life. That's your job!
No, I won't be agreeing to everything you say.
Well, then we would both be wrong and how would that constitute to any progress?
And if you are just looking for something cute and cuddly to hold, please go buy yourself a teddy bear.
Or a Barbie doll works too. You can change her clothes every time you get bored.
No, I stress again, I do not hate men and I am not running away from love, marriage or relationships.
No, I am not a lesbian - but I may be open to that.
( Hahaha - is Shirley really serious about that or did she just add that in for a dramatic effect?)
naughty, naughty Shirley Maya...
Yea, I am playful to the point of being a mischievous flirt.
But make no mistake, I am playful, mischievous and DEEPLY SPIRITUAL.
So, SPANK ME.
Book Of Choice: "CALL ME PARIS" by Jamie Khoo
Because she is shamelessly open about her desires, and her commitment to her spirituality.
She also has no qualms about saying the words, 'F*&k-ing Good" with Buddha in the same breath.
This is "Spirituality with Bite" and I ain't referring to Vampires or Werewolves either, ok.
Now, let's get back to my current addiction and let me totally immerse myself in it before the next one arrives and completely overcomes me.
Right, moving onto page 35 .... and Black Eyed Peas are singing, I Gotta Feeling in the background....
On Monday 4th January, I'll be starting my "Writing Retreat" for 3 to 4 days.
Happy, happy, Joy, joy me.
p/s This particular post is designed to deliver a "deliberate" effect.
Did you get it in the end? Oooh, I am soooo naughty today.*Bad, Shirley, bad*