My Christmas Message for 2010

The Year 2010 has been a most interesting year...and the most challenging.


No, not in terms of work or travel but it was very testing because I had to face my inner demons.


In fact, over the last month or so - I was in heated battle with two of my greatest demons: ANGER and FEAR.


Over the last two weeks, I finally won the war.


There was a moment where I thought I was going to lose and just give up the fight, but I am so glad that I did not.


Yes, these days my battlefields are all within. 


My biggest challenges are all with the enemies inside of me.


I realised that there is no greater enemy or demon that the one that resides in my head.


Whether you name it negativities, demons or enemies within - they are the same things. And what they do best is to bring you down, make you stay down and help you to LOSE out in your own life.


I came to terms with my own fears and learnt that my anger arises from my fears.


Once I understood that, I let it go and felt a lot lighter.


But that was not after a series of wailing and crying my eyes out like a baby.


I know, I am a cry baby.


I cry at the drop of a tissue. So embarrassing!


I cry at sad movies. I cry when I see animals or people suffer. 


But what I did vow from today onwards is that I will no longer cry for me.


Because that would only lead me to a huge self-pity party of my own.


So, after coming out of all that - this is my Christmas message for 2010 -


To My Mother


Thank you for always being so selfless in caring about every one of us. You truly gave each of us everything from  your heart. You give the best to us and you take the least or what's left behind. You have never once complained how tired you are in taking care of us, but continues to do so with such warmth and joy.


May I grow into the kind of mother who loves her own daughter just like you have loved me.




To My Father


Thank you for sacrificing your own personal dreams in order to build a dream that would feed the whole entire family. Thank you for always working the hardest and through longest hours because you just want to provide us with the very best that you can give. Thank you for being the kind of father who never lets his family down.


May I grow into the kind of person with your level of discipline, commitment and responsibility.




To My Darling Daughter


Thank you for gracing my life and making it more meaningful.


Above all, thank you for teaching me how to love without agenda.




To My Precious Sisters


With beautiful and wonderful sisters like you all, I certainly had very little need for best friends. We have shared so much together and gone through even more together. 


Thank you for loving me just as I am. Though you may not understand me sometimes, you did not stop caring about me. Thank you dearly for that.






To The Melotos, The Wilks and the Gonzalezs, Gawad Kalinga Heroes and all my very dear friends near and far


Though we may not get to see each other as often as we like, please know that you are always in my heart and mind.


Each of you has touched my life in so many different ways. I can never be the person I am today without any of you. I am very grateful that I have the blessing of your warmth and friendship. I cannot imagine where I will be without your help, love and care. Thank goodness for good dear friends!


May I always return the same loving kindness I have received from each of you - many times over.




To EVERYONE ELSE OUT THERE


If this Christmas is one of the most toughest time for you, I shall pray for you. Remember, even the most painful moments will also pass. So, this too shall pass. Have courage and persevere. The sun will shine again soon.


If this Christmas, things have begun to change for the better - I shall rejoice with you and I pray that you will not take any of it for granted. Cherish every one and every moment well. 


If this Christmas, you are starting a new chapter in your life and doing something completely different, I wish you all the luck and I shall also pray for you.


If you are single and looking - may you find the one who makes your heart sing and inspire your mind to become the best that you can be. 


If you are married and going through a difficult time - don't stop communicating. Sometimes, it is not about falling out of love and growing apart. Ask yourselves, can you both fall in love with each other all over again and work it out? Can you both learn to have fun and enjoy one another all over again? Think about that before you make a hard final decision, ok. 


If you are married and going to celebrate your anniversaries - BRAVO! You give the rest of us hope that true love does last! Haha. It is a wonderful feeling to be married to your best friend and that you just never seem to get bored with one another.






A LITTLE INSIDER'S GUIDE TO ALL THE GALS OUT THERE 


Forget the fairy tale. 


Don't wait for the knight in shining armour or the Prince Charming to come along. There is no perfect guy. All men are flawed - just as we women are. YES, that's the truth.


We ain't perfect and so, neither are they. We do need one another to become perfect. 


Use your wisdom to understand that as a woman we have a choice - we can choose to be makers of great men and bearers of great children - or we can just whine, complain, cry and be damsels in distress. It's your call.


If you think about it - all men also came from women as we are the mothers of the earth. If we want the world to have better men ( and women ), we have to be better mothers, sisters, wives, etc. Yes, it can begin and end with us. Key operative word here is, CAN. Again, it is your choice.


And please, do not always wait for the guy to make the first move or to do anything and everything - we have hands, feet and a brain too. Use these assets well.


Happiness is how you make it. 


You want a guy to love you a certain way - trust me, please just spell it out for him. Do not wait and imagine that he will know or figure it out - he won't. And you can wait until the cows jump over the moon. 


Waste a lifetime in waiting or make every moment worthwhile and enjoyable - does not matter if you need to do more of the work. After all, when every moment is a happy one, everyone wins. So, that is the most important part of all.


Please do not waste too much time worrying about your body, your face, whether you gained 5 pounds or lose 10. Love your body, own your body and enjoy living in your body! 


Hello, ladies, if you are not happy with your own body, how do you expect anyone else to find it pleasurable and be happy with it too?!


If he loves you, he will love you just the way you are. 


BECAUSE LOVE IS MORE THAN THE PHYSIQUE.


Love is enjoying the good bits and being able to take the bad bits and work with it. We can't have one without the other. AMEN!




A LITTLE INSIDER'S GUIDE TO ALL THE GUYS OUT THERE


If you have not begun to start respecting a woman by now, then you are in serious trouble. No woman would enjoy being with anyone who does not respect her. Would you like it if someone does not respect you? Especially in public? I rest my case.


Believe me when I say this - scoring with as many women as you can get hold of or sleeping with as many women as you can handle DO NOT WIN YOU ANY RESPECT with the women. It is just your ego talking and showing off to the rest of your mates. It has nothing to do with your manhood at all.


If you want to really prove what makes a man great - love one woman and make her happy for the rest of your life. See how well you can pull that off.


A little kindness, tenderness and gentleness will go a long way in sustaining a very successful relationship with a woman in the long run.


A woman enjoys being touched and moved - and I do not mean body parts here. I mean, touching her heart and moving her heart - with your sincerity and care.


If you really want to be with a woman, first of all, please be a good friend to her and listen to what she has to say. 


Yes, women are made differently. They need a lot of sweetness because when they love you, they love you with all their heart. So, please take good care of your women, guys. Don't talk down to them and treat them like trash.


Every woman is a queen.


So, treat your woman as the Queen of your Heart.






LASTLY BUT NOT LEAST - To My Ex-Husband


Thank you for being a good friend and a wonderful father to our darling girl.


Wish you all the happiness in the world and may you truly find peace within and without.






FINALLY, IN CLOSING...




Remember -


Each of you are as beautiful and wonderful as you are. 
Right now, right here.



This moment is going to be as good as it gets until you make that change inside you.

Yes, you have the ability to do anything you want to do, as long as you really put in the time and effort to achieve it. 
And you must be consistent. Never give up.


No, crying will not change anything.
And no, screaming , kicking and shouting will not make anything better.


The one who really loves you will be the one who cherishes your vulnerability as well as value your strengths.
The one who really loves will never stop improving himself or herself in order to become better for you.


When people criticize you, it doesn't mean that they hate you or that you are really that bad or lousy.
It means that you just have more room for improvement and you can learn from it and grow from there.

DO NOT wallow in self-pity.
I repeat - Under no circumstances, should you ever allow youself to wallow in self-pity. Because if you choose to wallow in self-pity, you are just fulfilling their 'unpleasant prophecy' about you. But if you choose NOT to believe in being the 'lesser you' and remaining as the 'lesser you', then do something positive for yourself and change for the better.

Above all, make that change for the better LAST and SUSTAINABLE for the rest of your life.

You are worth every of your sweat, blood, tears, dreams and hopes.
So, start acting like one. Start believing in yourself.

Be kind and grateful to as many people as you can because you know very well how pain feels.
Therefore, you should not cause others any more pain or suffering.



Before you actually become a solution, stop being a part of the problem.



Yes, you can do all the above.

So, believe in the best of you and allow that very best of you to RISE each and every day.
It is never too late. It is only too late when you never even gave it a chance.

I say it again, you are worth YOUR every sweat, blood, tears, dreams and hopes.
So, it should all come from you and no one else.

No one else is responsible for you or your life.
You should not marry someone else for their money, but earn your own.
You should not sleep with someone else to reach the top of the ladder, but climb on your own.
You should not use people in order to get what you want in life or love, but use yourself to give what people in your life need and love with all your heart.

Nothing lasts forever and nothing stays the same.
This applies to all sadness, pain, joy and pleasures in life and love.


What you understand of the above statement will determine your maturity and ability to live your life to the fullest, and to appreciate life for what it truly is.

This is all I can share and have to share.
The rest is really up to you.


And to all, a very blessed Christmas and a most joyful New Year.


Love and Peace!

The Pursuit of Happiness - Everlasting Happiness, not Temporary Pleasures

They say that there are many ways to finding happiness. 


Some people believe that success will make them happy, while others believe that love will complete them.


It took me a long time to discover but I am beginning to understand now.


Happiness is the key to a true success in life. Not the other way around.


Material and financial success can only satisfy an individual for a period of time. After the recognition, the wealth, fame and social status - what then? 


All things material - however good or shiny and glamourous it may be - do not last. Hence, the happiness that is derived or defined by these things would not last either.


For those who believe that love is the answer to everything. Yes, you may be right. 


But the real question is - DO YOU KNOW HOW TO LOVE WITHOUT AGENDA?


DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS OR EVEN LOOKS LIKE?


Generally, all of us think we are in love with someone and we actually tell ourselves that we love that someone.


But in truth, we are actually in love with the way that someone gives us what we want, when we want it and how we want it. We have certain rules, expectations and conditions about this so-called love.


Our kind of love IS ONE THAT HOLDS A LONG LIST OF AGENDAS.


And the worst part is - we would never disclose to our partners or spouses. And if they keep getting it wrong, we'll blame them and become very upset. Even to the point of wanting to leave them.


Our kind of love is one governed by self-serving interests.


We are only happy when they do what we like and want.


It is all about us and judged from our own point of reference.


There is no such thing as a selfless and unconditional love.


If there ever was a period of selflessness and unconditional loving, it only happened at the very beginning of the courtship - when we want to attract and win the special someone over.


After getting that someone and for some, after marrying that someone - things begin to go downhill.


WHY?


Because more and more expectations start to seep in. More un-expressed rules and conditions come into play. And they become more important to us than the person we used to adore and yearn to be with.


Yes, our expectations, our conditions and rules become the most important key factors in our relationships. It is no longer about that special someone and it will soon cease to become fun, romantic and lovely dovey.


Soon, it becomes a chore to even talk to one another.


Before you know it, you can't even stand the sight of each other and you just want to punch each other's faces.


THAT IS HOW WE GENERALLY LOVE at this day and age.


Honestly, I have spent many years trying to figure out why we do these things to one another. 


How did the person we used to cherish become the person we wish to be perished from the face of the earth?


How did heaven suddenly become hell?


Believe it or not, it is only recently that the answers began to dawn on me.


MOST OF US REALLY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE.


We all want love and to be loved. But to really love in return is much harder to do than just to say, "I LOVE YOU."


So, if our happiness is based on such a deformed perception of love, then how can we truly be happy?


If our ideas and beliefs about love or life and people are so stained with expectations, rules and conditions - we will never truly see someone as how he or she really is.


We will only see what we want to see.


So, what is the solution then?


Here, I can only share my own experiences and speak for myself. I share them because I hope they would be of some use to anyone out there who is also on a search to finding the truth and not running away and resorting to blaming someone else.

Here is my two cents' worth -




Finding happiness is like finding yourself. 


Take a moment to think about this, please.


If you do not know yourself and you do not know what you want out of life and you simply do not understand yourself, how can you expect anyone else to do the job well?


And why would you put that responsibility on someone else when it is really yours to begin with, and it will also end with you?


If you are always expecting someone else to understand you better than yourself, or know you better than yourself while you are still trying to figure out your life or dreams/goals in life - then you are definitely setting up the both of you for failure.


You don't find happiness, you make happiness by taking the journey within.


And yes, this is a journey you must take alone - though you can invite others to join you, if they choose to or like to. You do not force it upon others. And no, it does not mean that they do not love you more if they do not want to come along.


This journey is really for you in order to become a better you.


Self-actualization is a process of discovering who you are, who you want to be and understanding yourself. 


After under-going all that - then you would start to see yourself as who you really are and who you aspire to be.


Without going through this, everyone is in the dark - including yourself. 


Here, constant open communication is very important. 


We must be able to talk openly and honestly with our partners or spouses. We must want to share and grow together. Otherwise, only one person is growing and moving ahead while the other one is being left behind.


There are no hard and fast rules here or a magic cure-all formula.


Every couple and individual are unique and different.


But if there is zero communication - then we are shutting the other person out.


If one is single, then it is a different story. You can take your time to discover and learn. 


But there is one thing I'd like to stress here - this journey is an on-going thing. It only ends when we end. I.e. when we die.


Growth and development does not stop.


So, you will find that we need to work at paving the way to happiness by doing what brings YOU the most meaning and contentment to your life over the long run - not some temporary pursuit of pleasures, lusts and joy.


Everlasting happiness is possible when we work for it and create the causes for it.


If we have spent our lives chasing every skirt or pair of pants - that is all we will find at the end of our time on earth. Nothing real and lasting.


If we refuse to open up and take a chance, we will always live in fear and distrust - we will never experience real love and real happiness.


If we do not want to invest time and effort in cultivating relationships, how can you expect that you will magically find it one day? it will not just land on your lap.


Seriously, no one is perfect.


We all have our flaws, idiosyncrasies, weaknesses, fears, insecurities, etc. No one is spared from any of these.


Also, the different up-bringing and childhood and life experiences each person goes through will make them into the people they are today.


Everyone is really very unique and yet the same.


We are the same because we all want love and happiness.


We treasure peace, harmony and unity.


Now, if we can learn to be sources of all the above, wouldn't all of us make the people around us also much happier people too - including ourselves?


When we are a source of joy - we will bring joy and give joy to everyone we meet.


When we are a source of love and understanding - that is what we will give to those around us.


If we are the opposite, then thats the exact results that we will receive and experience.


Everyone has in some point of their lives, loved and lost love.


Everyone has, at some point in time, broken someone else's heart as much as getting their own hearts broken in return.


But let us NOT be governed by only the pain, misery and continue this cycle of emotional agony.


Let us NOT create the same pain and misery unto others.


No one deserves to be hurt. No one needs to suffer.

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” — Helen Keller

Don't hang on to the past, or your anger or your pain - let it all go.

Forgive them in the same way as you will learn to forgive yourself.

Your future need not be a repeat of your past or even your present.

It can be and should be much better.

We just need to learn how to love better and become better people for those we truly love.


In all this time, I finally realised that if we truly love the people we love - we will never stop wanting to become better people for them. 


Because in becoming better people, we can give more care, create more love and happiness with everyone who is important to us.


If you truly love someone, you will really push yourself to become a better person for that someone.


You will never stop improving yourself and you will not feel tired in wanting to make that someone happy.


Why? Because your love is real and is without agenda.


Until you can love without agenda, you will not know what true love means.


You will only have a superficial version of it.


Here, I make a strong wish for everyone -


May each person find their own true happiness. 


May each person find strength in our own vulnerability and have the courage to love without expectations, conditions and rules.


May each of us work hard to nurture and build that happiness to last our entire lifetimes.

 “Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” — Margaret Lee Runbeck

It does help, when we choose the right companions too. So, choose wisely.

Happiness, if not now, when?

Please MEET YOUR MEAT - ARE YOU READY?

Please Watch & leave your thoughts in comments for me….

September 24, 2010

I would like you to take 12 MINUTES and 28 SECONDS out of your lives to please watch this video, then scroll down to the comments sections and leave me five thoughts that come across your mind after watching this video. It is my special request to everyone who visits this blog.
I would appreciate this very much.
Tsem Tulku

Source: blog.tsemtulku.com

THE INSANE CRUELTY OF MANKIND

THIS IS SOMETHING I FEEL COMPELLED TO SHARE WITH EVERYONE.

Below is something very graphic and unpleasant but it is very necessary for me to write about it because at some point in one's life, we have to make a stand somewhere somehow, with regards to things that are vital to our lives, our environment or just in the name of humanity.

Forgive me if I am rambling on here. I get this way when I am emotional.

So, here is my first warning. Do not scroll down and do not click play if you have no interest to face the truth.

Somewhere in the world, dogs are being slaughtered for their meat because some people think it is yummy to eat.

Ah yes, this might just be in China or some Asian country whereby such atrocious habits are still being practised and allowed. For some, even encouraged.

But before you go into an emotional rage about the Chinese or the backward thinking Asians, 

I would like to humbly ask you to think deeper.

Yes, reflect much deeper as you watch and read on.

Dog Meat Trade

September 23, 2010

This is not an easy video to watch, but very necessary. Everyone should stop eating meat. If you cannot stand to watch animals being slaughtered, then how can you eat meat? Meat was a conscious being before it ended up on your plate. When you eat it and enjoy it, then you have to ignore the brutal facts of it’s slaughter. The more animals we hurt, the more karma we create for ourselves to be treated in the same way. All actions have consequences.


This old, outdated, peasant farmer’s thinking that if you don’t eat meat, your diet will not be complete and you will be unhealthy is wrong. It is just an excuse people still use to indulge in eating slaughtered flesh.


Never be in denial. Make a stand for important things in your life like saving animals 
and creating awareness for them.


Don’t hurt animals, don’t slaughter animals, and don’t eat animals. Be kind to them, feed them and let them have full lives also.  Share this video with as many people as you can. Save animals I beg you please.


Tsem Tulku

Now that you have watched and read this in its entirety. What thoughts come to mind?

I'll tell you what thoughts came to my mind.

This is the conversation that went on inside my head -

How are we any different when we slaughter other life forms for food such as chickens, cattle, pigs, rabbits, geese, ducks and etc.?

Are we really that different than the killers above?

Is dog meat any different than chicken meat, or pork or beef, etc.?

Hang on a minute, you are saying it is different because you enjoy eating it and you find it acceptable because everyone else is doing it. Hence, that is fine because it is the norm.

Really, Shirley?

How long do you want to stay in denial?

How long do you want to lie to yourself just because you are attached to eating meat?

You know what - meat is meat - regardless of which animal it comes from.

And when you decide to eat meat, you have some part to play in the whole killing game. 

In fact, you are one of its biggest supporter.

At the end of the day, you are too selfish to think about others.

You just want to satiate yourself and your appetite.

That is all you really care about.

Yes, these are the conversations I had with myself in my head.

And it went on and on because I was trying to justify my desire for eating meat.

Personally, I am not a big fan of animals or pets.

I don't keep pets.

I don't even like petting pets.

I don't like taking care of pets either.

But I realised that I do not need to like something in order for me to want to stop killing it.

I don't need to like pets and animals to feel concerned about not wanting to cause them more pain or suffering.

It is really so very un-necessary.

What I do like and care about is respecting life and that means, all life forms. Not just mine.

I'd like to think that we are the crowns of creation and with that comes certain responsibility. 

It is a responsibility to help those who cannot help themselves and speak for those who can't voice their pains / suffering.

We do not go about unloading more pain and suffering onto those who truly can't help themselves. 

No, we do have a choice.

We always have a choice. And we can exercise that choice with love, respect, dignity and kindness.

Because we would want the same for ourselves.

We seriously do not have the natural right to take the lives of others. Nor do we have the authority to dictate who gets to be killed and who gets to be eaten.

WE DO SHARE THIS PLANET WITH OTHER BEINGS.

Frankly, my favourite food used to be tuna.

And I could it eat raw, seared, pan fried, smoked, etc.

But I decided that I would not die if I did not eat another piece of tuna for the rest of my life.

No more animals need to die so un-necessarily for me to continue living.

There are many various choices of food and they are much healthier choices.

In October 2009, I decided to opt for the diet of loving kindness. 

Yes, I became a vegetarian.

I've made my stand - no more killing. Not on my account, please.

I have enough bad karma as it is. I do not wish to add onto that plate much more than I already have.

I believe vegetarianism is a conscious choice, it is a decision one makes to not harm another living being.

As I have said, it is a diet of kindness that is sealed with a lot of love.