Thursday, March 28, 2013

HELLO EVERYONE, I HAVE RELOCATED TO A NEW ADDRESS

Hello everyone,

Thank you for stopping by and checking out my blog.

If you are one of the faithful readers of my blog, thank you from the depth of my heart.


If you are new to the my blog, a warm welcome and thank you as well.

The big news is that I have relocated to a new site.

So, although I have left Blogger - I would not want any of you to be left behind.

Your support and readership are deeply appreciated.

Therefore, I would love for all of you to come with me as well.

So, please go over to www.shirleymaya.com

I shall look forward to seeing you all over at my new "home".

I hope you will like it and enjoy how I have "decorated" my new abode.

Please do share your comments or feedback. I would love to hear from you :)

Just click at this new address www.shirleymaya.com and you'll be transported instantly to my new site.

See you all real soon!

Much care and hugs x

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

THE RIGHT TO LOVE AND MARRY THE PERSON WE CHOOSE


As of now, Gay Rights and Equality are being debated all across the USA. To hear/read the words GAY RIGHTS in the same sentence as the US Supreme Court is something I did not imagine I'd live to see. I have many LGBT (Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transexuals) friends in Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand and United States. I have lost a few over the past years due to a variety of reasons. It is a real shame that they could not live to witness the changes sweeping all over USA right now.  I believe, this CHANGE will also impact the world over once the laws are effectively passed for the LGBT community in the USA. For this, I shall be celebrating. For this, I can gladly say that the rest of the world may look to the USA in order to MOVE into the right direction so that the rest of humanity can follow. 

In many countries outside of the United States, LGBT RIGHTS are nonexistent or moderately tolerated. For example, in a Muslim country like Malaysia, there are laws against sodomy. Needless to say, their rights are "largely marginalised" in Malaysia. You can read more about LGBT Rights in Malaysia here

Personally, I wish some of my LGBT dearly departed friends were still around to experience this long overdue recognition of their freedom to love and marry whoever they choose which is taking place in the USA as we speak. I say this with all my heart, because they have taught me a great deal about love, relationships, life and even marriage. 

One of the most enduring and loving relationships/marriages I know is this LGBT couple I adore. If you see them together, you would never imagine that they could be a couple. One loves classical music such as Opera and Brahms. The other enjoys Country & Western. One loves outdoor sports and worships the sun like she is the solar system that revolves around it. But her partner would not be caught dead near a bush or a tree because she likes staying indoors, far away from the harmful UV rays, with her books, music and movies. However, to this day, they both continue to nurture, love and support one another despite their personal differences or preferences. And they have been doing so for over 25 years. They were married long before it was "allowed". Their marriage has definitely outlived most heterosexual marriages I know of, including mine. Of course, they do work at their marriage. It is a constant work-in-progress, as they both grow and age together - so they tell me all the time. It is no different than any other relationship or couple on the planet. Their marriage is a living testament that when two people who are right for each other fall in love and work at staying together, it defines a blessed union - no matter how you want to label it.

The many liberties that we (heterosexuals) take for granted on a daily basis, are callously denied of our fellow LGBT brothers and sisters in the community at large. In fact, I did not even see this until it was pointed out to me by my friend more than a decade ago. He told me that he and his partner had to be more "cautious" when going out to public places. They cannot be too "overly" loving towards one another. So, you can definitely forget about PDAs. They cannot even hold hands without other people watching them, or giving them the "evil eye". Prior to his revelation, I myself had not noticed that all the simple gestures, and the licence to express ourselves which we, as heterosexuals, have been enjoying all along are indeed denied of the LGBT community in Asian countries. Hence, in Malaysia and Singapore, it is not uncommon to find that "they" had  to adjust themselves in order to suit us, because "they" did not want to  "disturb" our sense of peace and order - as my friend kindly put it. It is was "they" who had to be "considerate" of our sensibilities. 

Imagine if you had to modify who you are and how you behave just so you don't have to "upset" the society at large. Imagine if you had to live your life in this manner and was not allowed to protest, because experience has taught you to bow your head low so that you do not bring any "unnecessary attention" to yourself and your "kind". Can you imagine living in such a way? I didn't think so.

In Malaysia or other Asian countries, some ignorant folks associate the word: "GAY" with derogatory meaning, HIV, AIDS or fear itself. It is used in jokes to belittle someone in schools, playgrounds, work place and etc. Recently in Malaysia, they (some "bright government officials and agencies") thought that it was a disease that could be cured. Or that, dressing their children in a certain way could turn them gay. Or, that a certain code of conduct could infect one to become gay. Yes, there were all kinds of ludicrous remarks and assumptions made, and all of them even made the headline news in the Malaysian newspapers/media. 

This only proves my firm belief that ignorance is not bliss, but a real hindrance to progress for humanity.    

I sincerely hope and pray that the United States set the way (and wave) to change the world into a far better place for my LGBT friends all over the world by first passing the laws in favour of GAY RIGHTS. It has been long time coming. They should never be "prosecuted" for being true to who they are in the first place. Above all, they are born with the right to love and choose as they please, just like the rest of us. No one should be denied or robbed of that birth right. 

Love never did anyone any harm. Seriously. The most damage comes from ignorance, hate and discrimination. It's time to end the negativity, and become a WHOLE community again.

I dedicate this post to all my dearly beloved LGBT friends everywhere, and especially, to those who are no longer with us. May their hearts smile from wherever they are.

Perhaps some day soon, we can call ourselves a civilised society and own it.

Spread the love if you agree.


Peace to all. 






Friday, March 22, 2013

THE RAPE CULTURE AND THE LAWS THAT REINFORCES IT

Yes, I know you have read more than your fair share of the Steubenville Rape Story and how the victim was made to suffer long after the trial. Not just by her peers, her friends or her community - but by the media as well when they chose to sympathize with the rapists and not the victim.

If it outraged you in any way, then please take the time and read about this other rape victim's case. And this took place in Maldives. 

A 15 year old Maldivian girl was repeatedly raped by her stepfather to the point that she got pregnant with his child. He then murdered the baby as soon as it was delivered. Now, the Maldivian Government wants to punish the 15 year old girl by flogging her in public.
She was sentenced to be whipped 100 times. 

"Now the court says she must be flogged for “sex outside marriage” with a man who has not even been named!" 

I have taken the liberty to copy and paste the story below.

You can also go directly to the link here

Please sign the petition and share it. 

Thank you. 


Horror in paradise

To President Mohammed Waheed Hassan:

As concerned global citizens, we call on you to do more to protect vulnerable women and children. We welcome your government’s initial intervention in the case of the 15-year-old rape victim, but real justice will only be delivered when you end the practice of flogging in the Maldives, and change the law so that it better protects the victims of rape and sexual abuse.
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Posted: 20 March 2013
It's hard to believe, but a 15-year-old rape survivor has been sentenced to be whipped 100 times in public! Let's put an end to this lunacy by hitting the Maldives government where it hurts: the tourism industry.

The girl's stepfather is accused of raping her for years and murdering the baby she bore. Now the court says she must be flogged for “sex outside marriage” with a man who has not even been named! President Waheed of the Maldives is already feeling global pressure on this, and we can force him to save this girl and change the law to spare other victims this cruel fate. This is how we can end the War on Women – by standing up every time an outrage like this happens.

Tourism is the big earner for the Maldives elite, including government ministers. Let's build a million-strong petition to President Waheed this week, then threaten the islands' reputation through hard-hitting ads in travel magazines and online until he steps in to save her and abolish this outrageous law. Sign now and share this with everyone to get us to a million!



Thursday, March 21, 2013

Life in Malaysia: The Horror of Domestic Helpers

"Life in Malaysia" will be an on-going series about how/what living in Malaysia is like for me. Of course, it is presented solely from my perspective and personal experiences. It does not represent the whole of Malaysia and Malaysians, in general. In fact, I was told by several people that I am not a typical Malaysian (whatever that means).

Map of Malaysia
I live in Kuala Lumpur...well, most of the time, anyways. I travel quite a fair bit. Kuala Lumpur or KL, as it is affectionately known, is the capital city of Malaysia. So, whenever I mention that I am from Malaysia - most people always imagined paradise islands, sun, beach and shopping malls like Pavilion, KLCC Suria and of course, the Twin Towers. After all, these are the very things tourist come to visit in Malaysia.

Although I am a Malaysian but I did not actually grow up in Malaysia. I had studied abroad all my life, and only came home during the holidays. Naturally, whenever one comes home only for the holidays, it is always fun and wonderful. Coupled with the fact that I was much younger then, and was not plagued with life's real problems. So, yes, my childhood was totally awesome. However, please bear in mind that the Malaysia then is not the same as the Malaysia now. With this, I mean mostly the people. People were much nicer back then. First and foremost, there wasn't as much crime back then as compared to now. For example, I could easily cycle on my own from my house to the nearby shops without incident. Today, I think people are extremely wary with the cases of child abductions on the rise. We shall get into that in another post. Today's post is directed at the "Horror of Domestic Helpers in Malaysia". Because at this day and age with both parents working full time jobs, it is very common to find that many households in KL have foreign domestic helpers/maids.

A Maid Recruitment Agency training the new group of foreign maids
One of the things that bugs me about living in Malaysia is the pains of hiring a domestic helper for our households. Most Malaysians do not work as a domestic helper anymore. They are as rare as finding a diamond in a sack of rice. With the total lack of local maids, most households have to rely on hiring foreign maids. There are about 230,000 foreign maids who work in Malaysia. Most of them are largely from Indonesia and Philippines. However, there is also a growing number of foreign maids coming into Malaysia from Cambodia, Vietnam and Myanmar. The cost of hiring a foreign domestic helper is not cheap, regardless of what is being advertised and publicised. Here, I do not mean just the expenses you have to incur at the maid agency. I am referring to the over-all costs - those which we cannot measure by ringgits/dollars and cents.

1) The pain of waiting for the maid to actually arrive into the country after making the application and paying the maid agency upfront. This could take 3 to 6 months, if you are really lucky. Some could take even longer - such as when the agency bungles up your maid's application, or decides to give the maid to someone else who's willing to pay a higher price. Yes, it happens.

2) The effort and time it'll take to train the maid when she actually arrives. It will take many more months before the new maid becomes acquainted with your household and your family's way of life. Even then, she may still get it horribly wrong at times. So, it is an on-going training process.

3) The pain and costs to re-hire and re-apply if the maid ran away. Yes, this is also very common in Malaysia. Sometimes, the maid may have even "emptied" your whole house of its valuables before she ran away. This actually happened to my uncle. His maid of 24 years took all their jewelry, money and priceless items when she ran away. And get this - the employers are the ones who would have to pay for the cancellation of the missing maid's visa, etc. On top of that, the employers have to cover the costs of re-hiring and re-applying for a new maid to replace the one who ran away. There is no such thing as getting that maid black listed or stopped at the Immigration when she attempts to leave the country. Because there are no such laws or regulations in Malaysia.

4) The maid agency is only interested in taking your money. They will not do anything unless you have paid them their fees. Currently, to hire a Filipino maid is about RM12, 000(USD3,750) and about RM8, 500(USD2,656) for an Indonesian maid. If your maid has ran away, they would require YOU to pay the fine, as well as, the cancellation of the maid's visa and lodge a police report. The police report is a formality rather than an actual resolution or aid to your case of the missing maid. To hire a new maid, you would have to start the process all over again and then fork out the $$ yet again. You would have to write-off the payments which you have made previously. It does not count. Period. You can read more about the laborious procedure and costings of hiring a maid in Malaysia in here and here.

5) The maid's monthly salary is not included into the costings that I have just outlined above. So, you have to factor that in as well. It differs for the maid from each country. At present, the Filipino maids have the higher monthly salary than the rest of the foreign maids.

These are just some of the issues one would have to seriously think about before even hiring a maid. Not to mention, there is no guarantee that the maid you chose or get will be an experienced maid. You can disregard what the maid agency tells you, or the maid herself. The final proof will be in her actual work performance at your home.

Of course, there are cases where the maids themselves have been abused. To the point that the New York Times released an article entitled, "Malaysia Urged to Protect Domestic Workers" on December 3, 2012. You can read all about it here.

There are also cases whereby maids have been raped by their employers. As much as the foreign maids do not have protection against their employers, the employers also do not have much protection against them. Because there are just no stringent laws, regulations, and policies to ensure that the maid agencies are doing a proper job in the first place. Some agencies have taken many people's monies and just disappeared overnight. In addition, there are no penalties issued to the maid herself when she runs away, especially when there is a pattern or history of maids running away in this country. The employers are the ones left with burden and costs.

But nothing, and I do mean nothing can ever prepare a family for the shock and horror of the "crazy" maid. I refer to them as such because I cannot ever imagine that a sane person would do such despicable acts to another human being, namely a child. And these are the very stories which you may not get to see or read in the New York Times or Huff Post. The damages that an insane or seemingly crazy maid can do to a home or family are just god awful.

There have been so many cases of maids abusing elderly folks and young children. Be it putting bleach into their drinking water, or making some black magic spells over the family, or hitting the kids and so on. The ones at the highest risk are the babies. The latest case which went viral due to the CCTV video that documented an Indonesian maid's violent abuse towards a 4 month old baby was leaked to youtube. This maid tossed the baby, repeatedly, onto the ground. I shared the video link below. However, I caution you that it is graphic. Viewer discretion is thus advised and warned. Personally, I could not sit through it.
   

The Malaysian Court sentenced the Indonesian maid to 15 years in jail. Although the baby has been released from the hospital, the mother of the baby is still very concerned about any possible internal injuries. And the mother has sworn never to hire a maid again. Who could blame her?

This is my personal experience with maids - I've had both the good fortune of getting wonderful maids, and the utter bad luck of having the "nightmare maids from hell". Since 2009, I have decided NOT to have a live-in maid in my home - foreign or otherwise. My ex-maid of 7 years ran away. This was someone who became very much a part of our family, and I had helped her with her father's medical fees and etc. She did not take anything when she ran away. I did, however, had a break-in to my home back in November 2008. This occurred before she ran away. The police suspected that it was her and "her friends". I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Then sometime in January 2009, she ran away. Coincidence? May be. But that was the last straw for me. No more live-in maids, only part-time cleaners who would come to clean and leave.

Obviously, there are good maids and bad maids, just as there are good employers and bad employers. They say that everything is dependent on your luck. Or may be it is just karma. So, the fear is a real burden carried by both parties. Neither the maid nor the employer knows who they will actually land up with.

From the employers' side, there is always the risk of bringing someone into your private lives and family. We never know what could happen and how that person will be like. The last thing an employer need is a horror that gradually unfolds in their own home. 

Similarly, it is the same for the maids - women who leave their hometowns or countries to travel into foreign lands to find employment. In addition to homesickness and being totally alone in a foreign land, there is the real fear of being exploited and abused as well. Hence, protection needs to adequately cover both the parties and not just one. Above all, it is not about protecting one party at the expense of the other.  

Personally, I think that it is seriously about time for the government to step up in their regulation of maid agencies all over the country and establish some stringent laws/policies regarding the hiring of foreign maids.

1) Health and mental screening of all maids should be priority and mandatory.

2) Agencies which have a high case of maids running away or breaking their contracts should be penalised and have their licence revoked.

3) Maids who have repeatedly ran away or broken their contracts should be identified, fined and documented in every country. Especially, those who stole or have committed serious crimes against their employers.

4) The employers who have a track record of mistreating maids should not be allowed to hire any maids. All maid agencies and Embassies around the world should be alerted and notified. 

5) Proper training should be given to the domestic helpers and there should be a formal certification that follows. This would give the maids a clear idea of what is expected of them, and the employers the assurance that the domestic helper has basic skills/training. 

Lastly, I would seriously advise that every Malaysian household that has a maid, be it foreign or local, to install CCTVs in their homes. It is not cheap, I know, but it could seriously give you some pertinent information about your domestic helper and what they do when you are not around. At the same time, it could also record what the employers do to their maids. 

Today, this is what I choose to share because I care.

Peace to all.




Tuesday, March 19, 2013

SEX, DATING AND THE SINGLE MOTHER: WHAT GUYS SHOULD KNOW


As some of you may know by now, I am a single mother. In an Asian "traditional" context, it is like being a "ghost" - because there are people who will never really see you, and then there are those who can see you but they are too afraid to go near you. In fact, some will quickly run the other direction.


Although we claim that we all live in a modern society, certain "stigmas" still exist. Some view single mothers as a "death sentence" because no man would willingly want to pay and raise another man's kid/kids. It is like picking up the tab for someone else's fancy dinner party that never ends. Or, it is like what the dude below posted in his FB status.



Most of the time, single mothers are labelled as "a truckload of baggage". And in Asia, some very rich and very married men actually think of single mothers as perfect "mistress-material". These men assume that single mothers would welcome the financial support, as well as getting laid on certain days of the week. Apparently, the wealthy married men are never available during weekends. Weekends are reserved only for their real families. I know this NOT from personal experience, but from some single mother-friends who only date married men. Well, they have their own personal reasons for "enrolling" themselves into that kind of arrangement, but we shall not get into that in this post.


So, in a world filled with young, beautiful and available women - single mothers seem to be pushed to the bottom of the barrel, in terms of dating and men. We seem to be stuck with the married ones, or the men no sane women would want, or those we may have to end up supporting - both financially and emotionally.


In other words, "good men" would not willingly choose us - because in choosing us, they would also have to explain to their parents, family and friends as to why they chose "us" when they could easily have someone younger, more available and without all those "excess baggage" to deal with. Especially, if the men in question have never been married, and are "eligible bachelors" for every "single" woman out there.


Hence, you might appreciate why I have not dated for over ten years. In fact, my daughter has just turned thirteen. I got divorced before she turned two. I think many people may find this shocking, but I assure you - it is true.


However, this does not mean that I have not been pursued or "propositioned" in all these years. I just have not been "enticed" or "inspired" to take up on their offers for dates...until this year, that is. It all began when my daughter officially became a teenager, and told me "to go get a life and start having fun again". I am certain it is a ploy just to get me off her back.


Nevertheless, I started being more open and went out on a few dinners, or drinks just to meet new people. I wanted to check out how much the dating scene had changed since I was last an active participant of it. A decade can alter a great many things. I had forgotten what a date looked like, and felt like. To this day, I have only been on one "drinks date" and three "dinner dates". No, they were not with the same men. Yes, it was purely for drinks or dinner. Let's just say that it was a real eye-opener for me. Now, I can understand why some single mother-friends of mine prefer to just stay at home. They have resigned completely from the dating world, and have quit on men. 



So, this post is specifically DIRECTED at the guys out there - who are open enough (or courageous enough) to date single mothers but have very little clue as to what it really means.


Yes, it takes BALLS. Period.
I came across two interesting articles written by men, for men with regards to this topic. They are:-



1) "Having Sex With a Single Mother" -  This article is from a site called: The Modern Man. The founder of "Modern Man" is also the author of the article. His name is Dan Bacon. His site's tagline is "Dating Advice That Works". You can read all about it here.



2) "Dating A Single Mother" - written by Lawrence Mitchell. This article is from a site called: Ask Men. The site's tagline is "For The Better Men". You can also read all about it here.


Notice that the first article's title is "having sex with a single mother", where as the second is "dating a single mother". I am inclined to think that the first article wants you(the men) to "score", where as the second article wants you to develop a real relationship with a single mother. Either way, I am sure the "ultimate" intent is to "seal the deal" - as with all dating tips for men. Sorry, I could not resist inserting that bit.


Though both articles provide helpful advice, I found the second piece more insightful and understanding of single moms. However, I would like to highlight these 7 crucial points to the male-readers out there.


1) First and foremost - you do have to ask yourself if you are seriously MAN ENOUGH to take on the challenge of dating single mothers? It is unlike dating single women. I can guarantee you that. If you are not up for it, then just walk away and don't even start - no matter how hot that yummy mummy looks like. I repeat, just walk away. 

We have a chinese saying and it goes something like this, "Do not start something that you cannot follow through and complete." 

2) Know that your normal "modus operandi" in dating or your usual "game" may not work all that well with single mothers. They have been through enough unpleasant or disappointing experiences with men, So, please do not toy with her. Do not BS her with the routine sweet nothings and cheap talk. Be straight and upfront with her. No games. Seriously. She does not have the time or day to deal with that kind of BS. She has a bunch of things going through her mind and they all require her immediate attention, because she has to multi-task, ALWAYS.


3) There will be a lot of resistance, ups and downs from the very start. Do not expect that it will go away anytime soon. Single mothers are more cautious and guarded with their hearts. They may seem vulnerable and emotional, but they remember what it was like to be "suffocated" in a terrible relationship/marriage, to have their hearts shred to pieces, and they do not EVER want to go through that EVER again. So, please do be VERY patient, compassionate and understanding towards her and her "crazy" life.


As Lawrence Mitchell wrote in his article, "You thought your life was tough? Try being a single mother. Think you have a lot of responsibility to shoulder? Try being a single mother. Try being accountable for another life. Chew on that before you complain that she has to get back to drive the baby-sitter home."


Take comfort in the fact that eventually, your persistence will prove to her that you are worth her time and most importantly, her heart. Therefore, don't be flaky and unreliable.



4) Her Kid/Kids will always be NUMBER ONE. You may only reach number 3 or 2, at best. Should she receive a call from her child/children, or (touch wood) if there was to be an emergency involving her children, she will spring into action for them and leave her date with you. Or, if her ex-husband could not collect her kids at any assigned time, she will have to rush off to pick up her kids and break her date with you.
Accommodating to her child's needs supersedes yours. If you can understand this, then you would know how to be supportive of her and not blame her. And by all means, please do not ever put her in a position whereby she needs to choose between you and her kids. You will never stand the chance. Because she had spent nine months carrying her child, then delivered that child with considerable pain, and then she continued to spend years nursing that child through every wound, and scar. Her love for her children will never stop or die. A valuable word of advice here, please do not ever refer to her kids as "baggage". Her kids are individuals she loves and cares about deeply. Kindly please respect that.
If you seriously want to date or have a relationship with a single mother, you have to understand how deeply she values her kids. Then, when you have made it through the front door and be introduced to her kids, you'll consider yourself "officially welcomed" into her inner circle, so to speak. You'll also appreciate what a "milestone" it is for you to be able to meet with her kids. So, please do invest  the time and effort in getting to know her as well as her kids.

However, a word of caution here. Please be sure that you are really into this woman, because once you get involved with her kids' lives as well, anything you say and do will also affect them.



"Make certain that the woman is worth it or else, you will disrupt more than one life."Lawrence Mitchell. 



5) Are you prepared to make certain sacrifices? There could be some real changes to your lifestyle. Because suddenly, you may find yourself visiting more playgrounds than clubs, or going to places which are only family-friendly, and etc. You would also have to deal with her EX. And this will not be a one-time thing. Unless, if her EX is dead, lives in another country or has been completely estranged from her and the children. Your usual activities will also change, perhaps even your car. Say goodbye to your sexy sports car or any dreams of owning a sleek two seater, and say, HELLO to Minivans or SUVs. Yes, you do really have to think this one through.



6) Not all single mothers are jumping at every chance to hook up with a man. These days, more and more single mothers are very discerning and less desperate. In fact, many single mothers are not at all desperate. We do not usually hang around in clubs or bars, longing to be picked up. Not typically. Heck, at every chance of any free time, we're more likely to catch up on some serious sleep for a change. So, if you seriously want to establish a real relationship with a single mom, you need to give her advance notice for dates, getaways and any other planned activities. Her life runs on a very packed schedule that is intimately synced with her children's school calendar year. Above all, expect that there will always be a chance of sudden change of plans and even cancellations at the very last minute. Please be very considerate of this whenever you plan something with her, or for her.



7) SINCERITY AND HONESTY at all times. I cannot stress this enough. Yes, there are single mothers who just want to have fun and probably might just use you for sex and only sex. Yes, what a dream come true that would be for you. However, the majority single moms are looking for someone much more stable, mature and responsible. So, please be absolutely clear as to what you want and KNOW exactly which type of single mother she is.


As Dan Bacon puts it, "Determine which category she fits in and what your intentions are with each single mother...if you know that you're only interested in a fling and definitely don't want to be saddled with the additional responsibilities of dealing with and paying for someone else's children, it would be unfair to pretend to her that you're a potential husband or a committed father figure. Single mothers appreciate your honesty more than you will know, so never put on an act - it's bad news for both of you." 


So, after reading all of the above, you must be wondering - why bother dating a single mother in the first place, right? After all, there are other "fishes in the sea" and they come with less "demands" or "conditions". 

True.

You are definitely spoilt for choice out there. You do not have to date a single mother.

At the end of the day, what it is really all about is FINDING THE RIGHT WOMAN FOR YOU.


Some male friends of mine have dated, and even married single mothers. They tell me that the rewards far outweigh the risks or challenges. They have grown to love her kids as much as her kids have grown to love them. That familial bond became something which they grew to cherish over time. It is a constant learning process. Sometimes they get it wrong but other times, they excel. 

There are also men who would only date single mothers. They reckon that single moms are more mature, stable and understanding. They feel that they can actually have real conversations with the single mothers, minus all the mind games and guessing games. 

Like all relationships - it takes time, work and love. In the case of single mothers, you have to add her kids into the whole equation.



Lawrence Mitchell points out in his article that, "the reward to dating a single mother is considerable. She could end up as the most devoted and loving woman you ever meet, if you exercise patience and compassion from the outset."


Dan Bacon further states in his article, "So, if you like a certain woman - don't worry what people think. Go with what makes you the happiest."



I will leave you with three questions to ponder upon.

1) Does she get you like no one else can or ever could?

2) Would you do the things with her and for her that you normally would not do for anyone else, but feel like it is the most natural thing to do?

3) Can you imagine continuing your life as it is without ever having known her?

When you know the answers to the above, you'll have the answer you need.


Happy dating and the very best of luck!



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