Someone recently commented that I am obsessed with Tibetan Buddhism, and to this person, it is actually puzzling.
Putting things into perspective - I believe that everyone should be less obsessed with themselves and their own pursuits of pleasures in life, but rather cultivate a real concern for their ultimate benefit in life.
At this day and age, where everyone is chasing after money, sex, relationships, ambitions and temporal pleasures - yet no one seem to say that these are obsessive.
But when someone shows great devotion and commitment towards self-liberation or even self-transformation, that is regarded as obsessive?
Yes, I find that puzzling indeed.
People would condone materialism and the pursuit of materialism, to the point of applauding it and yet, discriminate against someone who is making a genuine effort to better themselves. Very strange.
Then again, our society has descended into this state without accident. All the decades of encouraging capitalism and self-indulgence have certainly cement a certain self-absorbed way of life and mind set.
Hence, those who wish to break free from such a deluded way of life would seem quite starking mad.
I don't think I am obsessed with Buddhism, but I am very obsessed with just becoming a better person, especially after being such a bitch for so long. I think I have earned the right to tell the difference from what's downright bad and what's truly good - for myself, at the least.
Here, being obsessed is not an extreme paranoid case - I mean it with a serious dash of humour.
There should always be a lightness about one's journey of transformation. And this is simply mine. I am seriously committed to it and yet, I am not paranoid about it.
When anything becomes an obsession it is no longer objective and if it not objective, how can it be helpful?
How much anyone would understand from this little post is not dependent on my words, but the level of your maturity and experience in life so far. Whether you relate or not, it is not for me to say. After all, you also have your own issues to work with.
Don't we all?
In any case, I have found my peace and my answers through Buddhism.
I am sure to each their own.
As long as it does help you to become better, it is already a very good thing.
Me - I am just living day by day, doing my best to ensure I do not fall backwards to become a bitch who ought to remain dead to the world.
While she lay silent in her grave, I shall have to face the consequences and clean up the mess she left behind.
We are the same and yet not.
I have moved on - thanks to Buddhism.
She remains where she is until her karma catches up with her.
And yes, karma is very much like old ghosts from the past. They will always find ways to catch up with us.
All I can say is serve me right for being such a spoilt brat in the first place.
Even after much realization, I still have much amends to make.
Now whether I can purify the damage of my past fast enough without incurring more in the present so that my future will not be as bleak - that remains to be seen.
The mind is a maze of sorts. It can play tricks and disguises itself so well.
At every stage, I still have to fight and struggle - nothing comes naturally at this point in time.
It still takes a lot of effort - conscious effort and much reflection - long, deep and hard.
Our so-called reality, which we fight so hard to hang onto, change all the time.
With every new discovery and upon learning something new - our minds expand further and wider.
Frankly, this is all I really care about.
Because this is what helps us grow as individuals.
Fortunately, I found my salvation and solace in Tibetan Buddhism.
And I sincerely hope that everyone will find their own form of salvation or path to a better self.
Whatever works for you, would be the one for you.
In my case, Buddhism totally works for me.