Indian gang-rape victim dies in Singapore hospital

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Indians holding a candlelight vigil Wednesday as the victim of a brutal gang rape in New Delhi continued to deteriorate. She died at a Singapore hospital early Saturday. (Saurabh Das / Associated Press / December 28, 2012)

By Carol J. Williams

December 28, 2012, 3:09 p.m.

The 23-year-old Indian medical student who was gang-raped and beaten on a New Delhi bus two weeks ago died of organ failure at a Singapore hospital early Saturday, Singapore's Strait Times newspaper reported online.

The brutal assault on the woman triggered massive protests in the Indian capital and demands for harsher punishment of those who commit violence against women.

Six men have been arrested in the Dec. 16 attack that occurred after the woman, who has not been named, boarded what she thought was a public commuter bus. The driver and five other men on a joy ride gang-raped the woman and beat and stripped her and her companion before throwing them from the vehicle, police reported.

The woman was transported by the Indian government to the critical-care Mount Elizabeth Hospital in Singapore on Thursday, accompanied by her parents and siblings, after undergoing three abdominal operations in New Delhi that failed to improve her condition.

India's Hindustan Times quoted Kelvin Loh, chief executive of the Singapore hospital, as saying the woman had suffered cardiac arrest before being transferred to his facility, where a team of specialists worked to stop the severe organ failure that began late Friday. She died at 4:45 a.m. Saturday local time, the hospital said in a statement.

The assault provoked thousands of New Delhi residents to throng the presidential palace last weekend, chanting "We want justice!" and "Hang them now," culminating a six-day outpouring of anger at authorities for doing too little to deter assaults on women in the Indian capital.

My Personal Rant

Any sane and morally sound individual reading this would be emotionally charged, if not appalling disgusted.

Yet we can triumphantly claim that we are a civilised global community while we have to continue enduring these despicable acts against women all over the world.

It is not just in India. It happens in every country where women reside. In every country, we read about incidences and cases of similar horror. Worse, some are even done to children as young as 6 or 7. Can you just imagine that?

Year in and year out, we get more depressed reading and watching the news than anything else. No matter how hopeful one could get, all it takes is a sad story to shatter that bubble of joy. Because it is a true story and it really happened to some poor unfortunate soul out there. Then we would huddle in our false sense of security that it won't happen to us. Praying fervently that it won't happen to us at all. Yet, what is the absolute guarantee that we have? 

The right to bear arms? Hire more security guards? Install a superior alarm system?

As we read through the list, we'd know that nothing can possibly ensure our safety.

The common denominator is the individuals involved in the whole equation.

Those who actually own the guns are men.

The security guards are predominantly male.

And even the people who install our superior alarm systems are also men. Guess what, they also have access to our security codes and can easily by-pass into our security system if they wanted to.

So, in the end, who can we really count on?

Who will really stand up and protect the fairer sex, or anyone who needs help, for that matter?

To add salt to our injured dignity,  we have to stomach those thoughtless remarks about how some women are just asking for it by going out late at nights into places which she should not, and it is really her fault by wearing any attire that shows too much flesh. The best of them is the idiotic comment about how a woman's flirtatious behaviour invites sexual assaults!

These are just some of the illogical and stupid statements that we, as the female gender, have to sit there and listen to whenever something bad happens. Oh yes, it is always instigated and provoked by the women in question. 

What utter bullshit!

I'll tell you what is the truth. It is simple.

1) It is the FAILURE of our collective education system on a worldwide scale. Academic values that have fallen into shameful pits whereby every young mind is not learned in any moral code of conduct in every sense of the word. You can forget about any decent respect for women to be cultivated at schools from DAY ONE!

2) The horrific misunderstanding between what is sex, porn and real intimacy. Anything sexual that is done against the consent or will of any human being is not allowed, and a stronger punishment must ensue. The sentence must fit the deplorable act committed. Nothing less. How else would we successfully strike fear into every heart and minds of rapist-wanna-be? What would motivate them to think twice?

Given the right opportunity and circumstances, what would truly make any man remain noble and honourable? What would really stop him from being the hateful beast, especially when he is in a pack of other wolves waiting for the easy kill?

It says a great deal about the state of the male's psyche, does it not?

3) A woman and child should be able to move about and go anywhere without being harassed in any way or form. The fact that to this day no woman and child can do this speaks volumes about the reality of our world. We have not evolved in the real sense. We have only created more innovated ways to torment and entrap helpless women and children. 

FINALLY...to all the men out there -

It is NOT the high mighty position of power and wealth that a man holds which defines him. All these things do not make him great or successful in the real sense. How a man treats a woman and child is the true reflection of his greatness - as an individual, and as a decent human being. 

There is no dignity in watching other men destroy a woman's honour.

There is no honour in slapping the hands of those culprits when women continue to perish as victims.

All that remains is the disintegration of your masculinity because you've allowed this shameful crimes to flourish to this day.

So many lives have been lost as it is.

So much innocence robbed and abused.

How much blood shed will it take to wake you up?

Are our tears and collective loss not enough? 

I would like you to take a moment and imagine - imagine that you are the above Indian gang-rape victim. Just close your eyes and imagine her going through every second of the gruesome moment. The tearing of her clothes, the scraping of her skin, her muffled screams and yet no one cared.

Imagine...being shoved, pushed and groped violently by several pairs of hands.

There is no tenderness here. No signs of love or care. Only hateful lust.

After they have taken their turns in sexually assaulting you in the most demeaning way, they proceed to thrust objects into you...leaving you to only die a slow death.

Can you visualize that kind of pain and suffering being forced on a human being?

How can you ever imagine that it is permissible for anyone to go through?

As a brother, father, husband and grandfather - how can you look at yourselves in the mirror, full knowing that your very kind are out there attacking innocent women and children?

How long must we continue to tolerate such atrocious behaviour? When will JUSTICE raise its stakes and pass a much harsher law on all violent acts against women and children? When will every man seriously stand up and protect their women-folk?  

Do we wait until it happens to our own children, sisters, wives, mothers or ourselves ONLY THEN we would begin to stir into action?

Something MUST BE DONE...if NOT NOW, WHEN?

All we women are really guilty of is wanting romance and the love of a decent man.

We would gladly give our hearts to any man who would genuinely love us in return.

Which woman does not hope for a happy ever after?

It is every woman's secret dream to be married to the person she loves.

Is she silly to feel so much and so strongly? Should she be faulted?

You may laugh at how emotional we get, but it is precisely our emotions which sets us apart from you.

Without our emotional capacity, we would be no different than a cold and distant robot. Or Rubber Doll, for that matter!

Would any man be content with that?

What makes us beautiful are the very things which we need dire protection. Our vulnerability, softness, our gentle caress and tenderness stem from the heart of our femininity. To rob us of all these, would be a death in itself.

Please understand...

No woman becomes cold and calculating for no apparent reason. She does not just wake up one day and decides to become a bitch just to regain equality in this world.

It is a very painful journey that she has had to brave through in order to become stronger and numb herself from despair.

A series of very unfortunate and deeply disappointing circumstances have shredded her along the way for her to become "hard".

Make no mistake, when a man fails a woman in whatever way or form, she then has no choice but to pick up the pieces of her remains and learn to stand on her own. When the men fail to speak for her, she has no choice but to find and establish her own voice.

The more a woman is "forced" or "trained" to do things on her own, she will learn very quickly to start living without depending on the man who has repeatedly failed her. Soon, she will adapt living without a man period.

A man's failure to hold a woman's best interest at heart, will teach her to fight for herself and be on her own. In her learning to fend for herself, she becomes self-reliant. Inevitably, she will also become totally independent.

Like I said, it is a journey that took many years of unpleasant experiences with some very bad men that have made some women become totally disillusioned with the male population.

IT IS NOT A FIGMENT OF IMAGINATION.

Hence, please, do not blame the women.

Instead, please try and understand.

The truth is - in every woman's heart, she is waiting and wanting to be loved. 

And I am willing to bet that it is the same for every man.

There is no greater beauty and joy than being with the one you love. Someone who truly understands you, and allows you to just be.

It would be beautiful when we find someone who is in love with our minds as much as our entire being. 

Someone who wants to undress our conscience and make love to our thoughts and not just to our physique.

Someone who wants to watch us slowly take down the walls which we have built up around our being, and invite them inside. 

It would be beautiful when the two souls would eventually meet and love unconditionally.

So, the real question remains ...

Can we really learn to treat one another with decency and respect, and to love each other much better?

What are you willing to do to achieve that?

Have you done your very best so far?

May we truly find a better way in the coming new year.

May 2013 be the year of love and peace for all. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2013!

JUST A BRIEF NOTE TO SAY "THANK YOU" FOR ALL YOUR KIND SUPPORT IN WHATEVER FORM OR MEASURE. I TRULY APPRECIATE IT.

I know that I have been a little quiet over the past week or so. I have been really busy with travels and the festivities. Yes, the stories will continue and the pace will pick up soon.

This is the first year, in a long time now, that I truly feel the spirit of giving and forgiving. And I realise, it must be due to the fact that I am not closing my heart and mind as much as I used to.

As the year comes to a close, I have much to be grateful for. There is nothing that I have to or can complain about. This year has been instrumental in showing me a deeper part of myself. As they say, the journey within never ends. As soon as we think we have figured something out, something else will pop out to show us how very little that we really know.

I guess this is how everyone grows and evolve further with time and each learning experience. I am very thankful that I am surrounded by real friends and families who sincerely care about my development as an individual. Eventually, I hope that I will truly become the person I aspire to be.

EVERY FRIENDSHIP HAS EDUCATED ME IN ITS OWN WAY AND ENRICH MY LIFE BEYOND WORDS. I AM FORTUNATE TO STILL HAVE THE FRIENDS I HOLD DEAR, AND THE OPPORTUNITY TO MEET NEW ONES FROM VARIOUS LANDS.

I WISH THE VERY BEST TO ONE AND ALL. SINCERELY HOPE THAT THE NEW YEAR WILL BRING ABOUT MUCH JOY AND PEACE FOR EVERYONE IN ALL COUNTRIES.

MAY 2013 BE YOUR BEST YEAR YET - WHERE WISHES WILL BE FULFILLED AND LIFE WILL BE DEFINED WITH MEANING AND PURPOSE.

MAY ALL NEW VENTURES BRING ABOUT THE SUCCESS AND RECOGNITION WHICH YOU SO SEEK AND HAVE WORKED HARD FOR.

FOR FRIENDS THAT FAR, I PRAY THAT YOU ARE ALL WELL AND HAPPY AS ALWAYS AND I LOOK FORWARD TO OUR PATHS CROSSING AGAIN.

TO THOSE WHO ARE NEAR, THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME AND BELIEVING.

TO EVERYONE ELSE -

LET GO OF THE PAIN AND HURT. LIFE IS WAY TOO SHORT TO BE CLINGING ONTO ALL THESE NEGATIVITY.

LEARN FROM YESTERDAY.

LIVE FOR TODAY.

HOPE FOR TOMORROW.

DON'T LOSE YOUR FAITH AND KEEP BELIEVING IN YOURSELF.

MAKE THIS COMING YEAR COUNT!

2013, HERE WE COME!

Chapter Five: EAST OF THE HEART

Chapter Five: The Great Plan

1925 – George Town, Penang

Mei Yee did not go down to the formal dining room to join Mrs. Wong and the other ladies in the household for dinner. In fact, she had not left her room since her late lunch. Ah Ping conveyed to the matriarch of the Wong family that Mei Yee was suffering from a splitting headache, and had requested to be allowed to rest in her attic room. Mrs. Wong, who was only concerned that the bride-to-be must be well and prepared for the wedding ceremony, gladly granted Mei Yee the leave of absence. She then took the liberty to arrange a light dinner to be sent up to Mei Yee.

Ah Ping knew only too well that her mistress had lost all her appetite to eat. When she returned to the attic with the dinner tray, she found Mei Yee staring out of the window. The sun had already set, leaving the sky with a charcoal grey hue. There was no wind or stars, only a melancholy stillness to accompany the devastated Mei Yee. Ah Ping did not utter a single word but quietly placed the dinner tray on the table, and left the room. She was careful not to disturb her mistress who was deep in her thoughts, and wrought up over her feelings.

As Mei Yee gazed into the darkness of the city, her mind returned to her mother in Fujian. She was still much incensed with hostility against her mother. She kept asking, WHY? WHY? WHY would her own mother do this to her? The more she questioned, the more hateful she became towards her mother. There would be no forgiveness from her. She was unrelenting. In truth, she would no longer regard herself as a part of the “Lim family”. Most of all, she would cease carrying the responsibility of honouring the family’s name. They had clearly meant to abandon her in the worst possible way. Hence, Mei Yee would reciprocate with the same renunciation. She reached into her silken pocket and took out the jade bracelet that her mother had given her before she left the village.

Ever since Mei Yee arrived in Penang, she has been holding onto the bracelet like it was a priceless treasure. She did not even dare wear the bracelet, as she felt that she was unworthy. The jade bracelet was the only connection she had to her mother and her village. So, she kept it in her pocket and only held it each time she felt homesick. However, now looking at it, she felt nothing but disgust. Mei Yee took hold of the bracelet and smashed it on the windowpane. The crackling sounds reverberated with Mei Yee’s shattered heart. Then Mei Yee flung the broken pieces of the jade out of the window. That very ritual sealed her status as an orphan. She then erased all the memories of her past. She made a vow that she would not shed another tear for as long as she lived.

The very next morning when Ah Ping came to the room with a breakfast tray, she announced that Mrs. Wong had excused Mei Yee for the entire day. Mrs. Wong wanted to make sure that her soon-to-be daughter-in-law was well rested. Mei Yee was thankful for not having to appear before the rest of the ladies in the family. She still did not know how to face Ai Ling and Sun Lee. Knowing what she knew now, she could not bring herself to be in the same room as the two women. Despite how much she could feel their contempt for her, she felt she deserved every ounce of it.

“I need you to do something very important for me, Ah Ping.” Mei Yee said in a somber tone. 

   

Ah Ping’s heart skipped a beat. This was the first time she has ever heard her mistress speak in such a grave voice. Instantly, she stopped clearing the breakfast tray and stood still.

“Yes, mistress Mei Yee. What would you like me to do for you?” Ah Ping was almost afraid to hear her mistress’s answer.

“There is no one here that I trust, but you. I need you to promise me that you will do this for me and you will not tell a single soul.” Mei Yee stared hard at her personal attendant friend.

Ah Ping kept silent but nodded her head.

“Can I really count on you, Ah Ping?” Mei Yee asked firmly.

Ah Ping nodded again, without saying a word.

“I mean it. You cannot tell anyone, and you must do exactly as I tell you. You promise?” Mei Yee insisted.

Ah Ping finally replied, “Yes. I promise, mistress.”

“Good. I am really counting on you. So, please do not let me down.” Mei Yee said seriously.

“I will not let you down, mistress. I really promise.” Ah Ping assured her mistress.

“All right. I believe you. Now, this is what I want you to do for me.” Mei Yee said and pulled Ah Ping closer to her. She proceeded to whisper her instructions into Ah Ping’s ears.

Before Mei Yee could finish her sentences, Ah Ping’s face turned white. She looked at her mistress in disbelief.

“But mistress…” Ah Ping began, but Mei Yee stopped her from speaking further.

“It is what I want you to do and you already promised me that you will carry it out for me. So, please save your words. Say no more. Just do the deed as I have instructed.” Mei Yee was adamant.

Ah Ping was too shocked to move or blink. She continued to stare at her mistress with fear in her eyes.

“This is really what I want. So, please go now and get it done for me. I shall wait for your return. Again, remember not a word to anyone about this.” Mei Yee warned Ah Ping.

As Ah Ping did not budge, Mei Yee stood up from the chair and pushed her out of the door.

“Do not come back until you have got it. Please make sure that no one sees you. Wrap it carefully in your handkerchief. Now, go!” With those words, Mei Yee closed the door behind Ah Ping.

The young personal attendant stood outside her mistress’s door for a while. She did not know what she should do, but she had already made a promise. Thus, she must fulfill that promise. After she had gathered herself, she walked towards the small door and disappeared into the network of stairs and alleys behind the walls. She headed towards the direction of the main kitchen. Despite how deeply perplexed she felt, Ah Ping knew that she had to make good on her promise to her mistress. So, she walked silently with tears running down her face.

The sun had risen directly above the Wong mansion, casting a scorching heat upon all its inhabitants. It was exactly noon sharp when Ah Ping returned to the attic. This time, she brought a tray containing a teapot and two small teacups. Mei Yee had been waiting for her anxiously. When she saw Ah Ping, she immediately pulled her to the middle of the room.

“Have you got what I asked you to bring? “ Mei Yee asked eagerly.

“Yes, but…” Before Ah Ping could finish her sentence, Mei Yee directed her to show the requested item.

Ah Ping gave a heavy sigh and reached into her pocket. She took out a carefully wrapped handkerchief. There was something inside it. Together, the two ladies stood staring at the object in Ah Ping’s hand.

“Are you sure this is it?” Mei Yee had to be certain. There was no room for mistakes.

“Yes, I extracted it myself from the kitchen storage.” Ah Ping explained.

“And no one saw you in all this time?” Mei Yee asked nervously.

“No one saw me.” Ah Ping replied with sadness.

“Good. Very good. Thank you for doing this for me. I am very grateful. Now, please leave the handkerchief on the tray and go. I need to be alone.” Mei Yee spoke in her serious tone again.

Ah Ping did not want to leave and yet she knew that it was pointless in staying. Her mistress had made up her mind and there was nothing she could say or do. A part of her felt responsible for what her mistress was about to do.

Sensing Ah Ping’s reluctance to depart from the room, Mei Yee said, “I do thank you for everything that you have done for me, Ah Ping. You are the only person who has been kind to me without asking for anything in return. I wish there was a way I could repay you, but it has to be in another lifetime. You must leave me now. Thank you again.”

Tears started swelling in Ah Ping’s eyes again. She could not help herself. Mei Yee walked towards the crying girl and embraced her like a sister would.

“There now. Don’t be silly. Everything will be fine after this. Don’t cry anymore.” Mei Yee said gently.

Ah Ping held Mei Yee tightly and sobbed even more. After she had recovered, Mei Yee reminded her that it was time to go. Silently, Ah Ping walked out of the attic room and collapsed outside the door. She buried her head between her knees and continued to cry uncontrollably.

Inside the room, Mei Yee was re-arranging the tray to face her. She admired the pretty china teapot and teacups. Mrs. Wong certainly had a refined taste in everything she bought. The blue intricate designs on the china suggested an artistic influence of the Ming dynasty. Hence, they must have been very expensive. The Wongs would certainly not use anything less.

Mei Yee smiled as she poured the tea into the two cups. Then with great care, she unwrapped the handkerchief. Nestled in the white cotton fabric, was a folded piece of pink paper. After spreading out the paper, she could see the white powder. Ah Ping had delivered her promise, and brought the rat poison to Mei Yee.

Such a small amount it was, but fatal enough to kill a buffalo, Mei Yee mused.

Mei Yee lifted the pink paper and dropped the powder into one of the teacups. Nothing was wasted. Everything dissolved into the tea instantly.

Before her, sat the two beautiful teacups – one was filled with an ordinary Oolong tea, and the other was drenched in rat poison.

Mei Yee had two options laid out in front of her.

Option one – drink the ordinary Oolong tea and get married in less than 2 weeks. Her husband would never really be her husband in every sense of the word. In fact, she may not even see much of her husband. They may never be in the same room if Mrs. Wong had her way. From the wedding night onwards, Mei Yee would have to surrender to the fact that she was to be desecrated by her husband’s elder brothers. They each would take their turn in violating her until she was pregnant with child. However, if the child she bore was not a male child then the process would be repeated until the profane mission was accomplished. She would have to continue living in the household pretending that it was all a natural course of propagation, and not some repulsive fornication. She would have to look at the grim faces of her sisters-in-law every single day and feign her innocence in the whole marital charade. As long as Mei Yee complied with the Wong family, she would live in the confines of opulence, abundance and extravagance. She would never have to worry about not having enough to eat or wear. Mrs. Wong would ensure that everything would be provided for her. However, the real question remained tugging at her mind. Could she really live every day of the rest of her life like that? And if she could not and would not, then she would have to seriously consider the second teacup.

Option two – drink the rat poison infused tea and die instantly. Her life would end and everything would stop here. There would be no wedding, no husband and no dishonoring of her entire being by her husband’s brothers. There would be no future, no fear, and no shame. Along with those, there would also be the death of her hopes and dreams. She would not have any opportunity to make something of herself. Most of all, there would be no chance at real happiness and a life worth living. All would be lost and denied from the moment her last breath left her body. Could she really condemn herself to a life cut short due to the offensive circumstances? Would she not regret? More than anything else, all Mei Yee wanted was a chance – a chance to live a life defined by her own terms. Could she really go through with killing herself? Did she really want to die in the first place?

Mei Yee sat for what seemed like an eternity, staring at the two teacups. Each presented two very different and frightening paths. Yet that was all she had. There was nothing else left for her. Both of the options were variations of Hell – one was on earth and the other would take place in the after-life. None of them were good enough, but what could she do?

Unwilling to abdicate the possibility of a better future for herself, she hacked into the deep recesses of her mind and forced herself to think very hard. She desperately needed a third option. Is there one to be found?

Then it hit her. 

The third option uncloaked the confusion in her mind. It came to her like a flash of lightning. 

The third option showed her what she had to do. If she planned it well and did it right, she would have a chance. Within Mei Yee, hope began to simmer.

Option Three was a real possibility. Option Three meant hope and a pathway to her dreams. 

Mei Yee decided to choose Option Three.

Without a second thought, Mei Yee knocked down the two teacups before her and stood up triumphantly.

Ah Ping heard the strange noises from outside the door. She feared the worst had happened. So, she quickly rushed into the room and was surprised to find that her mistress was very much alive. She did not quite understand what had transpired, but was extremely relieved to know that her mistress had chosen not to proceed with the suicide.

Mei Yee smiled at Ah Ping. It was no ordinary smile. Optimism was rising in the horizon, and she was ready to seize it. It was time to plan something great. 

To be continued in Chapter Six….

Personal Christmas Message for 2012

Over the past few years, I have literally dropped out of the social and professional radar.
Those who knew me thought that they had lost me, and those who were with me thought I had abandoned them.
In every situation, there was no pleasing everyone. Disappointments were rife, and each dispensed their own judgement on me.
Explanations seemed contrived and inadmissible. Apologies came too late, even Forgiveness turned a deaf ear.
Before the total darkness finally descended, some friendships were lost and my faith was ruptured beyond repair.
In the end, it seemed that no one cared to know me at all. They have casually forgotten that I was there, fighting by their sides, pushing the boundaries of my own limits, and above all, I DID GIVE ALL THAT I COULD GIVE at that point in time.
Still, it was not enough. It would never be enough. Enough is a vulgar word that does not exist when everyone else was depending on me to do more, and give more.
I am very sorry to confess that I could not give more as the light flickered its final glimmer.
This is how I came to the very cliff of my own limitation.
It was either jump to the death or leap and fly. However, my wings were not strong as yet to employ the winds around to help me soar further. So, into the depths, I plunged.
It was a choice I made. No one is to be blamed. That is very clear.

After having immersed myself in the service of giving to others as much as I could possibly do, I was gripped with the worst realization. The hate, anger and darkness was consuming me. What I saw all around was not hope at all, but rather, a vortex of helplessness.

How do I hold the remnants of my peace and remain committed to a loving kindness process when I was slowly eaten alive by all the choking negativity? How could I withstand the ravages of humankind without losing my own sanity?

In truth, I struggled with the overwhelming urge to pull the same trigger onto the perpetrators of crimes and violence. I hated them as much they hated humanity with a vengeance. The heart of me turned into an unrecognisable cold black hole. I had to get away from everything before I became exactly like one of them - a spitting image of evil incarnate.

How could I continue to give when everything inside me was poisoned and toxic?

And so, I did retreat and resigned from EVERYTHING. I thought it was the safest and noble thing to do. Naturally, not everyone understood. Then again, why should they? They didn't walk in my shoes, nor have they seen life through my eyes.

Again, the fault lies with me and not someone else.

It took a long while for me to collect the pieces and try to make sense again.
It took an even longer time to separate the lies from the truth.
As I regained my strength, I made a promise not to ever be ensnared by Death's sweet caressing voice, or the soft kisses of corruption.
I will believe no whisperers but take counsel from my own fighting spirit.
I will no longer run backwards, but forward.
Even if I have to stop from time to time, I know that I am doing so in order to recuperate and not indulge in laziness.
There will always be some people who will never understand me, and they may also never find it in their hearts to forgive me.
That is their prerogative, and they have every right to hold onto their views.
I will continue to try and make progress towards my dreams and goals, BUT IT WILL BE ACCORDING TO MY OWN TERMS.
I have not given up on anything, but have chosen to embrace all that is meaningful to me IN MY OWN WAY.

For those who stood by, and continued to throw a life line at my way, I thank each and every one of you with all my heart.
For those who gave up on me, I offer my deepest apology yet again and wish for all the great things to come your way as always.
For those who are still deciding, I shall leave you to your own conclusions.

To be very frank, there was a point in time last year when I thought that I could not make it out into the light again. I felt lost and empty after being stripped off the very things that I have dedicated my life to. It was a very painful and lonely place to be. Nonetheless, I know now that even that episode was absolutely necessary in my own growth as a human being who aspires to be in the service of others.

Yes, after all these years, I STILL have much to learn and a long way to go before I would evolve into the person I truly want to be. Every juncture takes us deeper and higher, only if we succeed in surviving its own massacre. With every little death, there is new life. One which is definitely stronger and brighter than the previous mould that we grew out of.

So, this Christmas I shall gleefully throw myself upon an altar of my own making, and be grateful that I have finally achieved another milestone in my journey of life. 

I would take this opportunity to thank each and every true friend and family member who held me through the last two years. They were my crutch, my cane, my wheel-chair and my life-support. I could not have done it alone, and that is for sure.

I have begun to write again, sing with a joyful heart and acquired an equilibrium of my own. I no longer compare my progress to others, nor do I wallow in the sadness of not blooming as beautifully as others.

I am a strange awkward flower which will only blossom at the coldest winter. And often, very late into the decade. 

I shall no longer make excuses for myself and retire into shame for not being able to fit into a square peg hole. I have always been a rather odd shape. Naturally, there is no point in forcing the issue.

Forgiveness may or not may come eventually. So, here, I take this opportunity to sincerely apologise to every person whom I have hurt and disappointed in any way. I am truly sorry that I did not or could not rise to the occasion when you needed me to. No matter what, you are still very much in my thoughts and prayers, as always.

There will be some places which I will make it a point to return to very soon, and re-visit frequently. However, there will be a few places which I will not return to.

I know what I made of, and what I want. I DO know what I have to do to achieve them.

Above all, I also know what I cannot do and will never do.

May this Christmas bring clarity to all and hope to those who need it most.

May every journey be challenging enough to make each one stronger, and gentle enough to comfort the pains.

May we always grow and evolve into the people we aspire to be, even if we are the latest to arrive.

Always late than never, better fall then not try at all.

May the New Year usher a brand new dawn of friendship, love, possibilities, opportunities, success and everlasting happiness. May all of the above be accomplished in your own terms, as defined by your values and beliefs.

I shall leave you all with a quote from one of my most favourite people in the world, Mr. Tony Meloto, the founder of "Gawad Kalinga". Mr. Meloto was addressing a group of graduating University students in the Philippines when he said these words. I am tweaking it to include all humankind. I hope, Papa will forgive his adopted daughter no.15 in this modification.

"Never stop hoping for your country. Never stop caring for your people. Demand greatness from yourself as a citizen of the world (as a Filipino), to inspire greatness in all others (other Filipinos)."

Most of all, never leave anyone behind in our journey in life. Everyone could use a helping hand every once in a while.

PEACE!

With folded hands and gratitude,

Shirley Maya Tan

  

The Insider's Scoop to W Singapore, Sentosa Cove

Today, my article on W Singapore is published in New Straits Times, RED Segment (NST, RED). You can read the newspaper's version here.

However, this post in my blog is another version of that said article. You will find very different photos of the W Singapore in this blog version as well. Hope you like it.

  

Getting the INSIDER's Scoop to W Singapore at Sentosa Cove

Welcome to the world of W.

The W Singapore at Sentosa Cove

The W hotels and resorts are nothing like a Ritz Carlton, Hilton, or even its other sister hotels such as Sheraton and Westin. Its DNA is strictly composed of quirky, funky and high-octane attributes. The first W was unveiled in New York in1998. Instantly, it transformed the very definition of hotels and luxury. Starwood wanted to showcase a lifestyle hotel that sizzled with contemporary cool designs, hip music and glamour. It had to also reflect their famous “Whatever/Whenever service”. This is what makes W the crowned leader of innovative lifestyle brands.

The "Glowing Jungle"

While all W hotels and resorts retain this riveting essence, they are also individually unique. Despite appearances, not every of the W hotels and resorts in the world are not owned by a single large hotel chain such as Starwood. The worldwide Ws are operated on a franchise business venture. Hence, each W property may belong to different corporations, groups, or persons. This is where it gets exciting, and “individualized”. In my recent trip to Singapore, I chose to stay at the W Singapore in Sentosa.

The Grand Staircase

 As always, whenever I arrive into a W property, I would look for the “W Insider”. It is not a secret that most W hotels and resorts have an “Insider” who serves a very special role in all their guest-relations. Yes, this “Insider” is a person and not a Newsletter or a techno gadget. It is the Insider’s job to go beyond the services of the concierge, or the guest liaisons officers in each of the W property. The Insider would have an in-depth knowledge of the property, its history, all the amenities and activities available on site, including the customizing of novel programs for each guest. This is an added service that is provided by the W Hotels and Resorts for every guest, and is not exclusive only to those who reside in their suites.

The Reception Desks

In W Singapore, their “Insider” is Ms. Sheena Koo. This is her first hotel gig. She shared that the most important asset to an Insider is his or her network of contacts. It comes in most handy when Insiders are requested to do the near impossible feats, such as driving out of the resort in the middle of the night in search of “kim chi” and sushi for a particular guest. Or, running around in the city to find a personalized gift for a couple celebrating their wedding anniversary at the resort. Ever since W Singapore opened their doors on 16^th September 2012, Sheena has been swamped with specific requests for organizing weddings and proposals. It seems that many people find the W Singapore to be the perfect venue for commemorating their momentous occasions or events. She also spoke of this regular Platinum Starwood guest who always insists on staying at their room 701, despite being able to afford the higher category of their suites. After visiting the rooms of the “01 series”, I understood the why this particular guest enjoys staying in room 701. It is not something that can be described in words, but a feeling to be savored upon entering the said room. 

The Marvelous Suite's Bedroom

On the day of my arrival, I had the pleasure and privilege of being taken on a personal tour of Singapore’s W by Sheena. This is how I got to know the many fascinating aspects of the resort. For example, there are over 40 fairies of both gender embedded in their grand ballroom. It is somewhat fun to try and spot every one of them. 

The Marvelous Suite's Living Room

To be precise, there are many other little surprises to be found lurking in every corner of this resort. Every decorative item or furniture piece placed within the W Singapore is there for a reason. Each holds an interesting story. For instance, the birdcages scattered tastefully around the Woo Bar is reminiscent of the days when all the elderly uncles would bring down their birds in cages from their Singapore HDB flats every morning. They would then congregate at the nearby park and compare their birds. This was an indelible feature of the Singapore public housing lifestyle of yesteryears. Of course, these days the birds carry a different metaphor altogether at the Woo Bar. They no longer are caged, and they are mostly two legged beautiful ladies who serve the enticing concoctions from W’s resident mixologists. 

The WET Pool

   

The only temporary drawback in W Singapore is the lack of dining options. In the whole resort, one can merely go to two dining locations, excluding the pool bar and the Woo bar. They are the all-day dining “Kitchen Table” and “Skirt”, which only opens at 6pm. One would have to travel out of the hotel in order to sample other dining choices. Thankfully though, there is a complex of retail, food and beverage outlets that will be opened by late December this year to support the resort’s limited dining facilities. This new addition adjacent to the property is called, “Quayside Isle”. It is within walking distance of the resort. So, we do not need a car but a pair of sturdy legs.

The Quirky Elevator

 The land where W Singapore resides was previously a jungle of wilderness. Now, it has been transformed to a swanky ‘glowing’ jungle. This W is owned by the City Developments Limited Group, or otherwise known as “CDL”. They are one of the biggest landlords in Singapore with over 7 million square feet of nett leasable space. In creating their own brand of W in Singapore, CDL recruited the talents of the Rockwell Group and the London-based architects, WATG. This dynamic collaboration gave birth to all that we marvel at the W Singapore today.

It is important to note that the resort’s interiors were further enriched by Mrs. Kwek’s very personal touch. Mrs. Kwek is the wife of CDL’s Chairman, Kwek Leng Beng. Some of you may have heard of Mr. Kwek’s fellow billionaire cousin, Mr. Quek Leng Chan, Chairman of the Hong Leong Group in Malaysia. Mrs. Kwek was the artistic “curator” of this Singaporean W resort. It is from her love for all things artsy that W Singapore houses some of the most eclectic original artworks - from an Andy Warhol to a Rodin sculpture. It is a delight to wander about the entire property hunting for the various masterpieces. It is an aesthetic treasure hunt that I truly recommend for all visitors to this W resort.

The List of original Artworks

It is customary to be greeted by an effigy of the iconic “W” alphabet in all the W properties at the main entrance. However, each hotel and resort will have its own interpretation of this figurine. In W Singapore, it is dappled with butterflies, ferns and flowers but bathed in the colour of white. This “W” structure is lit from within, and its lighting colour will gradually change from purple to pink. The organic elements of nature are fundamental to W Singapore’s central design and theme. One will witness the many creative ways of how this nature motif is incorporated throughout the property. Some may not even be visible until they are illuminated. Again, I suggest keeping an eye out for these zany characteristics of the W Singapore. 

The AWAY Spa

Do not be alarmed when one finds that the whole ambience of the lobby will change dramatically from morning to night. The lobby in the W Singapore works as a Reception Area by day, but moonlights as a Dance Floor by night. From 6pm onwards, the DJ will start to spin loud funky tunes. The music can even be heard underwater in their generously sized pool with a swim-up bar. This is at the courtesy of its 24 speakers. A W hotel or resort would not be complete without this principal melodic facet. Groovy music feeds the soul of every W.

The AWAY Spa's Vitality Pool

As it is Christmas, W Singapore presents its own version of the famed tree. Theirs is christened as the “Mirror Tree”. I was told that the resort wanted to construct a Christmas tree of meaning and purpose. Therefore, the mirrors are decorated on the tree with the intention of inspiring everyone, guests and staff alike, to reflect upon how the year has been for them as it comes to a close. This would inevitably aid everyone in formulating meaningful New Year’s resolutions for themselves as well. Hence, the W Singapore’s Christmas tree is not merely an ornament but serves a higher significance. Here lies some of the expressive qualities of this particular W.

The Mirrored Xmas Tree

I got myself a Spectacular Room from the resort’s 240 guestrooms of various categories. It had a lovely white pendant light that is adorned with butterflies at the end of the room, and my balcony opened to the charming views of the marina. What I always appreciate about the W rooms is their mood lighting system. In Singapore’s W, my room had 3 distinct ambient lighting choices. They were “Runway”, “Escape” and “Flirty”. Naturally, I was drawn to “Flirty”. Within a split second of pressing that “Flirty” button, all the lights in the room became dimmed. Then, the purple mood lighting under the bed came to life. The intricate wall paneling at the head of the bed also ignited into the same colour tones. Instantly, my whole room was enclosed in a cool sexy purple hue. I suppose if I had to pick a colour to define “Flirty”, this might just be it.

The "Flirty" Mode

Spectacular Room's Bathroom

After all that is said and done, one just has to experience staying at a W resort for oneself. Each individual will no doubt have his or her own perspective of a W hotel and resort. W is like Opera - you either hate it or love it. There is no “grey” area in one’s relationship with a W. To date, I have visited W Bali, W Koh Samui, W Hong Kong, W Taipei, W New York and now, W Singapore. Every one of them has been exceptional in their own distinct ways. Then again, I usually befriend the “Insider” of each W as quickly as I arrive. Sometimes, even before I arrive. It certainly has helped made my stay more enjoyable. The next W I will be visiting is the one in Bangkok. Until then, happy holidays and Merry Christmas!