Saturday, May 1, 2010

DAY 36: Making Up For Lost Time

DAY THIRTY-SIX: Sunday, 25th April 2010

Gawd these days I am so busy and tired, I do not even have the energy or time to bitch.

I do not even have the energy to disagree or complain. And the last thing I want is to pick a fight or argue over something that will take another hour before we settle to an agreement.

No thank you. Time is far too precious and I am in need of some real sleep.

That’s how busy and tired I am!

Yes, there is something brewing but I am not at liberty to disclose. You will just have to wait to see, and when you do see it, you can barrage me with all your comments and questions.

I’ll be happy to address them. But for now, it is HUSH HUSH.

Here is my DAY THIRTY-SIX :-

Weight: 53kg

No. Of Prostrations: 50

Daily Sadhanas: Check and Done with Death Meditation and Dzambala Mantra.

Physical Exercise: no time to even take a piss, where got time to exercise?!

Daily Reflection from "IF NOT NOW, WHEN?" – Here we go. I close my eyes and I picked out page 117.

Quote from Page 117 for Day Thirty-Six:

“In life, everything passes by very quickly and whatever happened in the past does not matter anymore – it becomes like a dream. In time, even the dream fades. But the results from that ‘dream’ do not fade. Eventually, we will have to experience these results so we need to be aware of what we are doing right now that will be the cause for those results.”

Personal Thoughts and Feelings:

Results is what stands through time. It is what remains long after we are gone.

Results is what we equate our lives with. It sums up everything we have achieved or not achieved while we are alive.

I have not slaved harder than I am now.

I have not slept any less than I ever did.

Yet I know why I am doing it.

I am creating the causes for a better set of results.

If my past actions were the sum of my life, then it would paint a very sorry picture.

Because I refuse to be judged and concluded as what I was, this is why I need to work extra hard now. I need to replace every bad memory, every lousy result with something good and better.

It takes time to build, it take things to happen and how I respond to them, it takes making the most of every minute now while I am awake.

My eyes are all red and my nose is running.

I know I am coming down with something yet again, but I must continue.

There is no one else here to do this for me, or on my behalf.

It began from me, it can only be changed by me.

This is the price I pay for doing nothing for the last 30 odd years of my life.

Now, at 40, I am making up for lost time.

And you just cannot imagine how crazy it is.

Then again, better late than never.

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