Sunday, May 2, 2010


DAY THIRTY-NINE: Wednesday, 28th April 2010

I am sorry if I don't parade

My shattered sensibilities

Around my neck,

Like a garland of self-pity

For the whole world to see.

I apologise

If I don't shout in pain

Or cry when I bleed.

It's not that I am numb

Or profoundly dumb.

If you could see further

Than what meets my eyes

Then you too would know

How there is nothing

Left in me

That is


Though there are scars in abundance,

Even tombstones and sorrows

Deep within me,

They leave no pain,

No tear, or whatever else

Which lies beyond remedy.

And all the wounds

I have gathered to this day

Will be named: FRIENDSHIP

Though their marks

Are everlasting,

Bright as a jewel,

I am wiser now

Than ever before.

And may be I can never be

As soft as tofu,

Or demure like a blushing bride,

And that my steel exterior

May seem crude and cold,

The sacred truth is simple,

There is a heart

That beats inside of me

With every breath,

With every passion,

It still beats.

I still believe in the pursuit of life, love and happiness

Just perhaps without sex

Because enjoyment in life does not stem from that

Or revolve around that.

Yes, that’s just me.

It is not a phase or a whim of the moment.

It has been a life long road to realisation.

And no, I am not depriving myself either.

And no, it is not going to take someone to come along and  make me feel otherwise.

In fact it is the exact opposite.

So, here is my DAY THIRTY-NINE :-

Weight: 53kg

No. Of Prostrations: 150 (no, it is not a typo. I did 150)

Daily Sadhanas: Check and Done with Death Meditation and Dzambala Mantra.

Physical Exercise: 45 mins

Daily Reflection from "IF NOT NOW, WHEN?" – Here we go. I close my eyes and I picked out page 101.


Quote from Page 101 for Day Thirty-Nine:

“We transform our minds because we love people – we love our parents, our spouses, our lovers, our friends and the people around us. We transform our minds out of love. It is not something negative that we have to do.”

Personal Thoughts and Feelings:

*Shirley can’t stop laughing*

And you wonder why...?

1 comment:

  1. You are certainly very good at poetry. Thanks fr sharing your thoughts.


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