Sunday, May 9, 2010


DAY FIFTY: Sunday, 9th May 2010

It’s actually 50 days down, 50 more to go to complete my 100 days.

I am half way there.

It has been incredible. Can’t wait to see how the next 50 days will unfold.

Persistence is crucial.

Consistency is mandatory.

Otherwise, we fall prey to our inner demons again.

Every wrong decision made could set us backwards drastically.

Not different than the game of snakes and ladders, except it is reliant on chance, but our very own will in making the right decisions.

So, commitment must be uphold constantly.

This is the part that scares me the most.

Until we are truly transformed, we are, in many ways, still vulnerable.

This is why we must recognise where our vulnerabilities are, and acknowledge what they are.

So, in the period of transformation, we would not and should not expose ourselves to anything or anyone who will distract us further, disrupt our progress and cause us to stray from our commitments.

This is something I have learnt to recognise in myself of late.

And I know I do not want to waste all my efforts and time. So, I have cut myself off from things that do not aid my progress, but may actually hinder it.

I seriously do not want to regress in any way. Not anymore.

Time is ticking and the only one left behind will be me.

So, no thank you.

I’ll stay on the path and go all the way.

Today, I was selling Kechara's Wesak Day coupons to my second sister at our parents' house. We were all gathering to have a united Mother's Day lunch. Then my daughter came up to me and asked me what all these coupons are for?

I explained that Kechara will be holding a Wesak Day Fair on 22nd May, and there will be lots of fun activities for everyone and all of the funds raised will be used to do all the wonderful things that Kechara needs to do for everyone. Then, she said, "I'll support Kechara. I'll buy two books. Mummy, please take it from my savings. Will you take me there on that day?"

I was really shocked.

Then before the night was over, my daughter selected a few books from her own library to give to the little monks in Gaden Monastery, India. (I am in the midst of getting books out to the little monks there, as our friend, Duke is stationed out there for 6 months to teach them English. So, Duke has been asking for anyone and everyone who could donate English books to these little monks.)

After having spent some time making her selection, my daughter asked me to vet through the books, and see if they are good choices for the little monks. She was quite surprised to learn that there are little monks in the monastery. Now, she is all curious about them and is keen to visit Gaden Monastery.

This is the best Mother's Day gift I ever received from my daughter, to date.

Anyways, here is my DAY FIFTY :-

Weight: 52kg

No. Of Prostrations: 50

Daily Sadhanas: Check and Done with Death Meditation and Dzambala Mantra.

Physical Exercise: 45 mins

Daily Reflection from "IF NOT NOW, WHEN?" – Here we go. I close my eyes and I picked out page 031.

Quote from Page 031 for Day Fifty:

“We can bring joy to others if we have controlled our minds. We can control our minds if we take any holy being’s teachings - of BUDDHA, MOHAMMED, JESUS CHRIST, KRISHNA – and we really sincerely practise them, not just follow blindly, then we will see a big difference..”

Personal Thoughts and Feelings:

That is an amazing quote.

I’ll take that as encouragement for me to persevere.

In 100 days, I will see a big difference in myself.

As it is, I am already feeling it and seeing a lot.

Thank you all for being with me, and helping me stay on the path.

Above all, thanks to Rinpoche for his undying love for all sentient beings and their transformation.

This is a most meaningful Mother’s Day indeed.

This is the only Mother’s Day that I have given myself a gift that matters – not only to me, but to those around me - my own transformation.

Now, isn’t that what a real mother should do – love all unconditionally and always have courage to do even the most difficult of tasks because her children are counting on her?

I am finally becoming a real mother.

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