Sunday, May 2, 2010

DAY 39: THE MAKINGS OF A STEEL TOFU

DAY THIRTY-NINE: Wednesday, 28th April 2010


I am sorry if I don't parade


My shattered sensibilities


Around my neck,


Like a garland of self-pity


For the whole world to see.






I apologise


If I don't shout in pain


Or cry when I bleed.






It's not that I am numb


Or profoundly dumb.






If you could see further


Than what meets my eyes


Then you too would know


How there is nothing


Left in me


That is


Unscathed.






Though there are scars in abundance,


Even tombstones and sorrows


Deep within me,


They leave no pain,


No tear, or whatever else


Which lies beyond remedy.






And all the wounds


I have gathered to this day


Will be named: FRIENDSHIP


Though their marks


Are everlasting,


Bright as a jewel,


I am wiser now


Than ever before.






And may be I can never be


As soft as tofu,


Or demure like a blushing bride,


And that my steel exterior


May seem crude and cold,


The sacred truth is simple,


There is a heart


That beats inside of me


With every breath,


With every passion,


It still beats.






I still believe in the pursuit of life, love and happiness


Just perhaps without sex


Because enjoyment in life does not stem from that


Or revolve around that.


Yes, that’s just me.


It is not a phase or a whim of the moment.


It has been a life long road to realisation.


And no, I am not depriving myself either.

And no, it is not going to take someone to come along and  make me feel otherwise.


In fact it is the exact opposite.



So, here is my DAY THIRTY-NINE :-

Weight: 53kg

No. Of Prostrations: 150 (no, it is not a typo. I did 150)

Daily Sadhanas: Check and Done with Death Meditation and Dzambala Mantra.

Physical Exercise: 45 mins

Daily Reflection from "IF NOT NOW, WHEN?" – Here we go. I close my eyes and I picked out page 101.

OH MY GAWD! I LOVE THIS QuoTE!



Quote from Page 101 for Day Thirty-Nine:

“We transform our minds because we love people – we love our parents, our spouses, our lovers, our friends and the people around us. We transform our minds out of love. It is not something negative that we have to do.”



Personal Thoughts and Feelings:

*Shirley can’t stop laughing*

And you wonder why...?

1 comment:

  1. You are certainly very good at poetry. Thanks fr sharing your thoughts.

    ReplyDelete

My blog has moved!

You should be automatically redirected in 6 seconds. If not, visit
http://shirleymaya.com