Wednesday, April 14, 2010

DAY 25: The Day The Dust Settles and My Nose Reacts

DAY TWENTY-FIVE: Wednesday, 14th April 2010

I can’t believe that I made it through 25 days already.

75 days more to go, and then it’ll be a 100 days.

I am not feeling better today.

In fact the cold and headache have become slightly worse.

But at least, the cough is gone.

At the rate I am going, I think it is so obvious – I am just allergic to real work.

So, I am getting sick because my allergies are all rebelling inside my body.

I can just hear all the little ‘mini-me’s inside my body, holding placards, shouting “WE ARE ON STRIKE”, “WE REFUSE TO WORK”, “HONK IF YOU SUPPORT US”.

Oh, get over yourself and shut-up!

Things are going to change around here and the old ways are dead and gone!

So, work it is or beat it!

Find another lazy body to inhabit why don’t you?!

There, now they are all quiet and cooperative.

So, here is my DAY TWENTY-FIVE :-

Weight: 54kg

No. Of Prostrations: 35

Daily Sadhanas: Check and Done with Death Meditation and Dzambala Mantra.

Physical Exercise: none but can we please include household chores? Haha

Daily Reflection from "IF NOT NOW, WHEN?" – Here we go. I close my eyes and I picked out page 081.

This is a long one, but very good indeed.

Quote from Page 081 for Day Twenty-Five:

“We want to be skinny but we don’t control eating. We want affection but we push away those who shower us with it. We want to be free of debts but we recklessly spend. We want love but we don’t want to accommodate and change. We want a good reputation but we don’t act in ways that invite it. We want people to help but do we really help? We want respect but we run away when it gets tough. We want blessings but without commitments. We want freedom from problems but we run from remedies. We are frustrated and we don’t know much but we don’t want to study. We want a good body but we don’t want to exercise and diet.

We want clairvoyance but we don’t engage in retreats. We want understanding but we create confusion with our non-commitment. We want clarity of our intentions but without effort. We want not to be misunderstood but our words are elusive. We want blessings and affection but without devotion. We want constant support but we don’t make time for others. We don’t want conflict but we break our word of honour. We want smiles, nice words and acceptance but we are hard and unforgiving. We pray but our prayers don’t bear fruit. We hate problems but we ignore the real cause of it. We are lonely and lost because renunciation is just a big word.

We keep looking outside for the light when we should now become the light.”


Personal Thoughts and Feelings:

Needless to say, if you have been reading this blog, you would already know what a commitment phobic and irresponsible idiot I was.

Yes, I used the word: was.

The quote reminds me of an older blog post of mine, titled: The Closing of the Year that was 2009.

If we cannot even start by committing to better ourselves in any small way, then it is no wonder we can’t even commit to other people or to anything bigger than just our diet or exercise.

So, here I am not going to repeat myself.

I am just going to re-post the ending of that blog, because the message is the same.

You are as beautiful and wonderful as you are. Right now, right here.

This moment is going to be as good as it gets until you make that change inside you.

Yes, you have the ability to do anything you want to do, as long as you really put in the effort to achieve it.

No, crying will not change anything.

And no, screaming and shouting will not make it any better.

The one who really loves you will cherish your vulnerability as well as value your strengths.

When people criticize you, it doesn't mean that they hate you or that you are really that bad or lousy.

It means that you just have more room for improvement and you can learn from it and grow from there.

DO NOT wallow in self-pity.

I repeat - Under no circumstances, should you ever allow yourself to wallow in self-pity.

Because if you choose to wallow in self-pity, then you are only fulfilling an 'unpleasant prophecy' about yourself.

But if you choose NOT to believe in being the 'lesser you' and remaining as the 'lesser you', then do something positive for yourself and change for the better.

Above all, make that change for the better LAST and SUSTAINABLE for the rest of your life.

You are worth your every sweat, blood, tears, dreams and hopes.

So, start acting like one. Start believing like one.

Be kind and grateful to as many people as you can because you know very well how pain feels.

Therefore, you should not cause others any more pain or suffering.

Before you actually become a solution, stop being a part of the problem.

Yes, you can do all the above.

Because I am doing it and I am just as worse, if not, much worse than any of you put together.

So, believe in the best of you and allow that very best of you to RISE each and every day.

The rest of your life can be the life you have always dreamed of.

Today can be your true beginning.

It is never too late. It is only too late when you never even gave it a chance.

I say it again, you are worth YOUR every sweat, blood, tears, dreams and hopes.

So, it should all come from you and no one else.

No one else is responsible for you or your life.

You should not marry someone else for their money, but earn your own.

You should not sleep with someone else to reach the top of the ladder, but climb on your own.

You should not use people in order to get what you want in life or love, but use yourself to give what people in your life need and love with all your heart.

Nothing lasts forever and nothing stays the same.

This applies to all sadness, pain, joy and pleasures in life and love.

What you understand of the above statement will determine your maturity and ability to live your life to the fullest, and to appreciate life for what it truly is.

This is all I can share and have to share.

The rest is really up to you.

As the year comes to a close, I pray that each and everyone will be loved as much as they should be loving themselves and others.

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